Do you believe your girlfriend or wife when she claims to have an orgasm? How can you know for certain that she�s not faking?
Here are some surprising facts about female orgasm:
70% of women have NEVER had an orgasm with a man. 25% of men will get turned down by their lovers over half the time. These men have women who think sex is a chore. Nearly 50% of men have partners that will NEVER ask for sex (would you ask for something that doesn�t give you any pleasure?) 92% of women will FAKE ORGASMS just to �get it over with�.
It�s obvious that what most men are doing simply isn�t working. If you have never given your partner an orgasm, and you don�t know how� Lee Jenkins has created the
The �Black Book� explains the female orgasm, A-to-Z, with sex tips, checklists and examples of �orgasm routines� you can use to bring your partner to an orgasm (or multiple orgasms).
Let me start by saying that I�m an ordinary guy, just like you. My penis isn�t the largest in the locker room. The women out there don�t mistake me for Hollywood�s latest hot celebrity. I�m not rich, or famous, I�m not a �playboy�, and I�m not exactly what you�d call a genius, though I wasn�t born yesterday either.
But I have been blessed with some pretty insightful, and more importantly, authentic, wisdom to share that has the potential to open doors to uncharted territory in your sex life. I can�t offer you increased size or a magical potion to incite lust and desire in every woman you meet.
But, if you make a solid commitment to read and practice the wisdom you�ll find over the next several chapters, I can promise that the special woman in your life will be purring like a kitten, eager and available for erotic romping more often than you�d dared to imagine. Before long, she�ll be bragging about how great you are in bed, and your buddies will be begging you to share your secrets!
You see, I�m on a mission in life to provide the keys needed to open the doors for a woman�s sexual fulfillment to as many men as desire to possess them.
You and I both know that sex and the ultimate peak of orgasm�� both on a regular schedule�� are an important, no, essential, part of a healthy, normal life. That�s because having an orgasm releases a powerful chemical cocktail that, among other things:
� Reduces stress
� Reduces tension
� Clears your mind
� Releases you to concentrate on other things besides sex and
� It makes you feel damn good!
In all reality, the act of orgasm is Mother Nature�s way of regulating our raging testosterone and keeps us sane, happy and smiling.
However, interrupt that �regular schedule� and it�s a whole different scenario. Once you cross that 72-hour threshold without an orgasm, you become restlessness, anxious, irritable, and aching balls enter the scene. It isn�t very much longer after that before something�s gotta give!
Lucky for us guys, reaching an orgasm isn�t rocket science. Most of us have been doing it since middle school and by now, we�ve got it down to an art!
But for the women out there, it�s a whole different story�
Knowing you�ve made a woman cum is supremely satisfying, but not nearly as wonderful and amazing as the orgasm your lover is experiencing. Unfortunately, it�s nearly impossible to explain.
Masters and Johnson�s, a leading sexual authority, after many interviews with countless women, described it like this�
�Women often describe the sensations of an orgasm as beginning with a momentary sense of suspension, quickly followed by an intensely pleasurable feeling that usually begins at the clitoris and rapidly spreads throughout the pelvis. The physical sensations of the genitals are often described as warm, electric, or tingly, and these usually spread throughout the body. Finally, most women feel muscle contractions in their vagina and lower pelvis, often described as �pelvic throbbing.��
But, if you ask a typical woman to describe an orgasm, and you�ll probably hear a lot of words and sounds and descriptions that lead you to believe that the female orgasm is a mystical, spiritual thing� It is!!
Could you imagine making it through next year, much less every year, without being able to orgasm yourself? Then imagine going through all of the motions, over and over, without having an orgasm. Talk about blue balls!
It probably wouldn�t take you too long to throw your hands up in disgust and decide to swear sex off for good.
You would be frustrated� and that�s exactly how a woman who has never experienced an orgasm before feels.
This is why many women who are in long term relationships don�t want to have sex as often as before. She�s frustrated, doesn�t experience pleasure from sex, and treats sex like another chore.
But that�s exactly what�s going on in the lives of countless women out there. Something�s got to change, but what?
The fact is, for the most part, you�ve got a lot left to learn about how to sexually satisfy a woman.
Truth of the matter is, most guys don�t have a clue about female orgasms.
Most men simply aren�t getting a quality sexual education.
If you want to be a plumber, you simply go to a trade school, graduate, and POOF!�� you�re a plumber. Why can�t it be that simply when it comes to becoming an excellent, satisfying lover?
Where did you learn about sex? Whispering with your buddies over contraband cigarettes and alcohol? Stumbling upon your Dad�s stash of pornographic movies and magazines? Those ridiculous �sex ed. classes� they gave in school?
Let�s take a look at this �education��
First off, looking back, it�s probably safe to assume that at least 75% of the sex stories your buddies offered you were complete, unadulterated bull-shit, pure and simple.
Secondly, the porn industry isn�t the �real deal.� The scenes are scripted, the women paid to perform and most of those orgasms are faked (at least by the women). Sure, you might have picked up a few useful positions or techniques, but if porn is your only sex education, you definitely need to keep on reading.
That leaves us with school-sponsored sex education, probably the most well-funded (and successful) campaign of propaganda to convince kids and teens across the globe NOT to engage in sexual activity!
Your teachers were too busy threatening you with the nightmarish possibilities of unplanned pregnancy and STD�s and dulling your senses with complex (and totally not-sexy) charts and diagrams.
I�m willing to bet no one was sharing the goods on the G-spot, clitoris or the potential for female ejaculation!
Sure, it�s important to know about condoms, birth control, AIDS and HIV, but what you really wanted (and needed) to hear about was the fine art of cunnilingus, giving multiple orgasms and other super-secret insider tips.
And that�s what you�re about to learn in this manual!
This manual is a plain-and-simple, instructional guide on how to give women orgasms. The Female Orgasm Black Book is something that you can refer to time and time again.
I�ve written it with a male reader in mind, but the information in this manual is intended to help men, women and couples achieve female orgasms and have a more fulfilling sexual relationship.
The core section (
The other parts of the manual can be looked at as the �toolbox� of techniques. You�ll find a variety of different sexual techniques you can use to �plug-and-play� into the overall system.
OK, enough introductory talk� let�s get down to business!
One of the main things that make this book so much better than all of those other sex books is that I�ll take you through a two-step approach that addresses the whole sexual experience, instead of merely a portion.
The two aspects that this manual is going to focus upon are:
1. Strategy (the mindset and overall framework of the female orgasm)
2. Tactics (techniques and the �how to�s�)
The biggest mistake that you can make is to focus on the how-to without paying proper attention to the best mind-set and strategies of the female orgasm.
In reality, the strategies are the key to unlocking the power of the techniques. You�ll understand that while the techniques by itself can be effective, the mind-numbing, noisy, wet, toe-curling orgasms lies largely in the strategy you use when applying the techniques.
So, in order to get the most out of these tactics, you�ve got to pay close, intimate attention to the strategies
Your state of mind (and your partners�) can really make or break the chances of her having an orgasm�
How do you approach your lover�s orgasms?
You probably enter into sex with the mindset and goal of �giving an orgasm.�
It�s this approach that leads too many guys on a wild goose chase for the �perfect� strokes and techniques. It leaves you blindly seeking out every tip and trick out there, furiously testing them out on your lover.
I hate to break it to you, but this is the wrong mindset if you truly want to �give� an orgasm.
It sounds contradictory, I know. But it�s true, and here�s why�
When you head into the bedroom with the goal of �giving� her an orgasm, you�re setting up expectations in both of your minds. This approach will create pressure on both you and your partner that an orgasm MUST happen. Once you add pressure to have an orgasm, it is virtually guaranteed to add some negative stress and anxiety during your intimate times together.
And� as this stress grows, it will actually make it much harder for her to cum.
Have you ever seen a football or basketball player �choke up� during a game?
The fans, the crowds, the competition build up so much pressure for the athlete to perform well that their focus is diverted from the game and to their anxieties.
Ultimately, they wind up screwing up. Too much focus and drive on your part to �give� an orgasm can have the same effect on your partner.
If the stress and pressure get too high, she may be left unsatisfied. And because you have set this �goal� to have an orgasm in a first place, and now that the goal is un-met, both you and your partner will be left feeling disappointed.
If this approach is sustained, you may wind up anchoring these feelings of disappointment to your times of physical intimacy�� carrying it over into your next sexual encounter, further increasing her �performance anxiety.�
Here�s the paradox�
If you want to give an orgasm, you have to NOT focus on the orgasm!
Instead of focusing on the goal of achieving an orgasm, start focusing your attention on the pleasure of the process.
The key is, if you focus on giving pleasure, and making sure she�s feeling good, that orgasm will come (no pun intended.)
Not every technique will work on every woman. One woman may prefer one particular stroke or rhythm more than the next woman does.
To find out what really makes your woman tick, you�ve got to open the lines of communication. You need to find out what she likes as you�re applying a technique. That way, you can optimize your rhythm, speed, stroke etc. to match what she likes best.
Aim for open verbal communication, but if your lover isn�t as brave speaking her mind (especially when you�re face is buried between her thighs) you can opt for more non-verbal communicative methods, such as squeezing hands or body response.
Communicating well with your partner can make it much easier to bring her pleasure, and ultimately, more and better orgasms.
One of the biggest mistake men make is moving too fast, too soon. It works fine for us, but for a woman, she might not be ready yet.
For guys, we can come to an orgasm very quickly. Men basically need to get aroused, stimulated, and we�re done.
Women, on the other hand, need a gradual escalation to come to a point of orgasm.
With each of the stages of sexual response (you�ll find out about this in an upcoming chapter), the intensity of the stimulation is increased.
Anticipation (otherwise known as �teasing� and �excitement�) is a powerful and effective tool to use. In order to multiply the effects of your sexual techniques, you�ll have to add anticipation into the mix. Anticipation will get her more aroused, give her a greater chance to have an orgasm and focuses her mind on the physical pleasure she�s experiencing.
And� while you�re building up anticipation, at the same time you�re cranking up sexual tension as well.
The sexual tension will have to be released (in the form of an orgasm).
The key to building up anticipation is to focus on the areas surround the main �target� before you actually hit the target.
For example, you can do this by rubbing her inner thighs, buttocks and hips before actually touching her vagina. While you�re rubbing those body parts, she�s getting wetter and wetter by the second, anticipating you to finally move onto her vagina. At the same time, the tension is growing within her and at some point, it�ll have to be released.
A note: when you�re building up the anticipation in her, it�s going to build up in you as well! It�s going to be your job to maintain self control, and keep the escalation at the right pace.
A woman has to be completely relaxed to have an orgasm.
If she has her mind on her job, self-conscious about how her body looks, trying to have an orgasm, or whatever the case may be, she�s not going to be relaxed. She�ll be tensed, and her body won�t allow her to release an orgasm.
Your job?
To help those troubles melt away and disappear (even if only temporarily) with your words, touch, attitude and preparations. Your lover must be totally and completely relaxed and free from tension.
The only tension she should be feeling is sexual tension!
Before receiving any sexual pleasure from her, you have to make sure she receives sexual pleasure from you first.
Why?
It shows that:
1) You have control of your sexual desires
2) She�ll be in a more �ready� state to have an orgasm while having intercourse, and
3) After she has an orgasm, she'll be ready and willing to reciprocate to the best of her abilities!
Seriously, if you can compare the quality of the blow job she gives you, the one performed without her experiencing an orgasm FIRST, will, ironically, SUCK compared to the blow job she gives you after she RECIEVES an orgasm.
Sex goes the same too�
Go ahead and test this out for yourself if you don't believe me.
Now I�d like to take a few moments to address the special woman in your life. You can invite her over to the screen, print out the page and tuck it into her briefcase or bring it up in your next sexual conversation�
1. Allow yourself to let go. Don�t feel selfish or sluttish; distracted or unworthy. Don�t tame or subdue yourself. Don�t hold anything back!
2. Don�t feel afraid to get a little verbal. Quit biting your tongue or holding your breath. Let go and moan, groan or sigh if you want to. Don�t force it or get too theatrical, but the man in your life will love to hear the sounds of your pleasure escaping your lips.
3. If you find yourself constantly stressing over hygiene issues like scent or taste or cleanliness, try incorporating a bath or shower early on in your schedule to prepare and improve your comfort level. Even better if you can invite him to join you!
4. Strive to gain greater comfort with your body and what turns you on. Take initiative to learn what really drives you insane with desire and then learn to communicate those hot buttons to the man in your bed. What do you fantasize about? What really turns you on?
5. Learn to believe your lover when he tells you he loves to pleasure you and make you cum�� he means it! And he�s also telling you the truth when he swears up and down that he loves to eat your pussy! There are few things in this world that will give a man a sense of accomplishment or satisfaction than making the woman he cares about cum�
Oxytocin is one of many chemicals that play a significant role in orgasm and sexual response. It�s a hormone that is secreted by the pituitary gland and cases muscle contractions and sensitizes the nerves. While oxytocin plays a part in our orgasms too, it�s believed that it�s even more important in a woman�s sexual pleasure.
Not only does this hormone play a large part in the contractions that wrack a woman�s womb and vaginal walls when she cums, research has shown that increased oxytocin production in a woman contributes to more powerful, intense orgasms.
Oxytocin also plays an important part of a woman�s emotional state and stimulates emotional pleasure and feelings of intimacy. It�s often referred to as the �cuddling hormone� because it�s this chemical that initiates feelings of connection, bonding and intimacy with your lover.
Stronger orgasms and emotional fulfillment�� it�s no surprise why this chemical hormone is so vital to a woman�s healthy sexual response!
In later chapters you�ll discover exactly how to release this chemical to make her feel more connected to you, and want to have sex with you more often.
I�m providing you with quite a bit of information. It�s all well and good if you can read and remember the techniques and concepts, but if you don�t apply them, you might as well not have wasted your time or money on this book.
Make a solid commitment to not only read this book, but to put the principles I share with you into practice in your every day sex life.
Team up with your lover and let her know what you�re reading up on. Ask her to work with you and convince her to agree to offer you honest feedback on the new things you�ll be trying out.
Believe me�� she�ll thank you for it later!
In this chapter you�ll learn:
� Female sexual body parts that are crucial to sexual pleasure, and where to find them
� Other body parts vital to arousal
The female sexual organs comprise one of the most intricate and sensitive nerve networks in the universe, and it�s yours for the discovering. In this chapter, we�re going to get up close and personal with the ins and outs of the female sexual anatomy and response.
I�ll break it down two different ways: namely, the external anatomy (vulva) and the internal anatomy (vagina). We�ll begin with the external structures, since it�s here that we�ll find that amazingly sensitive clitoris. The key to, arguably, just about every single orgasm any woman has.
The clitoris is a small, highly sensitive organ that is very important to female sexual response. You can almost think of it as a �mini-penis�.
There are 2 main parts to the clitoris (externally):
1. The shaft
2. The glans (or the clitoral head)
The glans is visible, sticking out like a small lump. The shaft disappears into the body beneath the clitoral hood, which is a layer of tissue that passes around the clitoris.
The clitoris varies in size for different women, much like penis size vary in men.
Women have been blessed with a sex organ with no reproductive purpose�� it�s only function is receiving pleasure. It has over 8,000 nerve endings which are intricately networked with the nerves throughout the pelvic region.
Although I�ve labeled it as an �external� organ, most of the clitoris is actually hidden
The shaft of the clitoris extends into the body, and then splitting into two legs form an upside down �V� (the clitoral crura) which lie on both sides of the vaginal opening.
But the key feature of the internal portion of the clitoris is the fact that the clitoris surrounds the urethra (the passage where urine exits the bladder).
What does this mean?
It means that the pleasurable sensations from stimulating the �G-Spot� (the area on the upper wall of the vagina, below the urethra) is through contact with the inner parts of the clitoris!
Also, this can explain the �vaginal orgasm� (orgasm through vaginal penetration), since the interior parts of the clitoris is stimulated.
The mons pubis is the fatty pad of tissue that�s covered by pubic hair. It lies on top of the pubic bone, and on top of the inner clitoral structures.
The labia minora are the fleshy hairless inner lips that lie on either sides of the vaginal entrance. The inner lips come together at the top forming the clitoral hood.
The outer lips are rounded pads of fatty tissue lying on either side of the vaginal entrance.
You�ll find it at the bottom of the vaginal entrance where the inner labia meet.
The perineum, more commonly referred to as the �taint�, is the area between the vaginal opening and the vagina.
Although she might disagree with you, the anus is a highly erogenous zone. But, to stimulate it doesn�t require penetration. The anus has a high concentration of nerve endings, and can feel pleasurable when stimulated.
Remember though, that any anal play requires special attention to hygiene, as the anus and rectum contain (and can spread) bacteria.
The vagina is a tube shaped organ where the penis is inserted during sex (we all know this one!)
But what you might not know is that most of the nerve supply of the vagina to the lower 1/3, near the entrance.
In other words, the most sensitive area of a woman�s vagina is near the front.
On the other hand, the deeper 2/3 of the vagina contains almost no nerve endings� so� it�s insensitive to stimulation (a woman can tell you that she�ll have feelings of deep pressure though).
What does this mean to you?
It means that, even if you have a short penis, you can still give pleasure to your partner while having sex, simply because the back of the vagina just isn�t as sensitive as the front.
The cervix is located at the back of the vagina, and is the opening to the uterus.
Although the cervix has no sexual function, you should be aware of it during intercourse. The cervix is sensitive to pressure, and you could actually bruise it during sex if you�re thrusting too hard!
If you have a long penis, then chances are you�ll be hitting the cervix as you�re thrusting in. Some women enjoy it while others will tell you that it�s irritating.
If that�s the case, you might need to change your thrusting angles or sexual position.
The G-spot is located about one and a half to two inches up, on the anterior (toward the front) wall of the vagina, at about 12 o�clock, or really anywhere between 11:00 and 1:00.
As you begin your explorations, start with inserting your forefinger gently inside of her, curving and hooking it behind the pubic bone, and then moving it forward, in the �come-hither� motion.
Now with your fingers, move them in a �zig-zag� pattern. Essentially what you�re doing is scanning the ceiling of the vaginal wall for her G-spot.
Once you feel a small mound of spongy tissue that ranges in size from that of a nickel and quarter�� and having a rough texture different that the immediately surrounding tissue�� you�ve found it.
The G-spot swells up and gets bigger the more she�s aroused, so if you�re having trouble finding it, chances are, she might not be aroused enough.
If you can manage to master the secrets of G-spot stimulation, you�ll be in great shape with your lovers, likely claiming the honor as one of (if not the most) satisfying and amazing lovers they�ve ever had.
That�s because G-spot orgasms tend to be felt at a deeper level and more intensely than clitoral orgasms alone. They also offer the additional spiff of being able to occur consecutively, with no �established� upper limit. And if you really get it down, she might even ejaculate. And what can be better than making your woman become a wetter?
These are the key secrets that separate the men from the boys. Unfortunately, it�s actually a safe estimation that less than 1% of the world�s population of men is able to repeatedly find, and them properly stimulate, their lovers� G-spots.
Some people think that the urethral sponge and the G-spot is the same thing, while others think that they�re totally different. In any case, stimulating this area can cause massive pleasure, and female ejaculation!
The urethral sponge is a spongy tissue and surrounds the urethral canal. It�s important because of 2 reasons:
1. Filled with nerve endings
The urethral sponge is filled with nerve endings, so stimulating it will be highly pleasurable a woman.
2. �Skenes Glands�
This is the key to female ejaculation.
When stimulated, the Skenes glands (also known as the �female prostate�) produces a clear ejaculatory fluid that gets released when a woman has an orgasm.
The A-Spot (sometimes known as the AFE-zone-Anterior Fornix Erogenous Zone or Epicenter) is a patch of sensitive tissue at the inner end of the vaginal tube between the cervix and the bladder.
Unlike the G-spot, which is in the shallow part of the vaginal depths, the A-spot is found all the way in. Penetrate using your middle finger, maneuvering up and all of the way to the back. You�ll find it just in front of her cervix, where there�ll be either a bit of tenting or ballooning of the vaginal walls in that area.
Also, unlike the G-spot where the texture is rough, the texture of the A-spot is smooth.
To stimulate the A-spot, you can use the fingering method mentioned above, or rear-entry sexual positions, as well as frontal positions where you can hike her legs up for good, deep thrusting.
Even if your lover isn�t comfortable telling you what she wants, where she wants it and for how long, the two of you have to be close enough and open enough to offer important feedback and encouragement.
G-spot orgasms are markedly different than other orgasms, and it�s a good idea to prepare your partner for just how different it might be. The more you prepare her, the more relaxed and comfortable she�ll be entering the realm of the unknown. The first thing you should suggest to your lover is that she oral pleasure to the bathroom and attempt to pee.
Some of the sensations caused by G-spot stimulation will make her suddenly feel like she has to urinate. By going a head and using the bathroom before heading to the bedroom, you�ll prevent her from worrying about peeing. Otherwise, she won�t let go completely, and if she can�t let go, she probably won�t cum.
Even after doing a preliminary bathroom break, she may still be worried that she�s got to pee. Tell her not to worry, that�s perfectly normal. Also, be sure to let her know that it is physiologically impossible for her to pee when at peak arousal. Coach her that when the urge to urinate begins to come over her, not to fight that feeling. Alert her to ride the wave, push through the fear. If she can make it through, she can get to the reward at the end�� floating and falling, losing herself in your touch, her body wracked with wave after wave after wave of pleasure.
There is much more to your lover�s sexual network than what�s in between her legs. Her entire body, from the tip of her toes to the top of her oral pleasure, abounds with opportunities to pleasure her. Just a few of those erogenous zones include:
Sexy and sensitive, the neck is ideal for, well, necking! Kissing, nuzzling, suckling and licking, as well as nibbling and massaging, are great ways to get her in the mood. But be careful�� hickies are tacky. Start slow and then increase your intensity.
The human ear contains bundles of nerve endings that equate to increased sensitivity. Capitalize on that by massaging them, kissing them, tickling them with your breath and whispering in them to really drive her wild.
Once things start heating up, don�t neglect those kisses. Kiss her, deeply, passionately. Nibble her lips every now an then. Remembering to make up can really fire up your erotic playtime.
Because of the shield of hair that most likely covers your lovers oral pleasure, the skin of the scalp can be incredibly sensitive to direct touch. Massage her scalp, run your fingers through her hair, brush her hair, look for ways to pleasure her in this manner too.
Aside from being incredibly sexy, breasts are also incredibly sensitive. There are some women out there who report being able to achieve orgasm from breast stimulation alone! Stroking, fondling, kissing, nibbling and tweaking the breasts and nipples are just a few ways you might want to give the twins a little extra attention.
While the anus is sensitive (don�t believe me, try giving her a rim job!), here I�m talking about the actual flesh on her bottom. The skin can be highly sensitive, and spanking, stroking and kissing or gently biting the flesh can really make her toes curl!
Other erogenous zone areas include:
� Feet and toes
� The small of her back
� Behind her knees
� Collarbones and shoulders
� Her belly�� especially the imaginary line that runs from her bellybutton to her clit.
What you�ll learn in this chapter:
� The Orgasm Blue Print� what it is, how it works, and why you need it
� Changes that happen in a woman during each step of the female sexual response.
The �Orgasm Blue Print� is the strategy to female orgasms. It a 4 phase �battle plan� designed to release a woman�s orgasm.
The blue print is broken down into 4 �Phases�, and 5 distinct �Stages�.
They are:
Phase 1: Seduction
Stage 1: Desire
Phase 2: Sensations
Stage 2: Excitement
Stage 3: Plateau
Phase 3: Surrender
Stage 4: Orgasm
Phase 4: Reflection
Stage 5: Resolution
Now, I have to admit, I can�t take credit for the overall �outline� of the blue print. This model is based off of the �Circular Model of Female Sexual Response�, developed by Dr. Beverly Whipple and Dr. Karen Brash-McGreer.
As you can see from the diagram above, it looks impressive and informative, but� it lacks the steps to bring about an orgasm in the first place!
So, what I have done is taken this overall framework, and added the practical, technical, nitty-gritty instructions on how to get from one stage to the next (and ultimately an orgasm). That�s where the sexual techniques come in (as you�ll soon find out).
Here�s a modified version of the Circular Model of Female Sexual Response, which I call the �Female Orgasm Blueprint�:
It�s probably a little easier to understand than the first diagram, but I�m sure you have some questions about it.
First, what I want to do is paint broad strokes and give you a general overview of each phase and its stages. On top of that, I�ll show you what happens in a woman�s body during each of these sections (and knowing this, you�ll know what stage she�s in, and know if she�s having a real orgasm or not!)
Following the chapters, we�ll dig deeper in each section, and I�ll teach you the techniques you�ll be using in each stage of the blue print.
And finally, once you�ve gone over the details, I�ll provide you with a step-by-step plan (using this blueprint) that you can use to give your partner orgasms.
Believe it or not, the path to female orgasms begins OUT of the bedroom.
For a woman to have an orgasm, she has to be horny�and to get horny, she has to have some sexual desire in the first place�and for her to have sexual desire, she has to be attracted to you.
And that�s the goal of the �Seduction� phase�is to get your partner sexual desire up so she�s ready for the next phase.
Desire is made up of 2 distinct parts: Initial Desire, and Sexual Desire.
The initial desire is when a woman is attracted to you. She can be a total stranger you meet at the mall, and if you two make eye contact, she might be attracted to you.
Or� she could be your girlfriend or wife, and because of that, she�s already attracted to you (unfortunately, this isn�t the case all the time though).
Now, because of the scope of this book, I�m assuming that you already have a sexual partner, (or that you can easily get one) and you�re both ready and willing to have sex. In other words, you already have someone who is attracted to you, or you�re someone who can easily obtain attraction from other women.
Because of this, I�m focusing mainly on
To fully cover the topic of attracting the opposite sex would take another book!
So, if you�re a lonely, single guy who needs to know how to attract women (in other words, create that initial desire)�or�if you�re already in a relationship but your partner has lost the attraction to you, take a look below:
There�s a guy by the name of �David Deangleo� and he�s the leading authority on teaching other men on how to create attraction and date women. He has a free newsletter that gives tons of tips and techniques on this topic.
My favorite is his �Cocky Comedy� technique�you�re basically being a jackass, but this elicits attraction from women!� Crazy! But�you have to do it right, or else you might get a slap in the face.
I highly recommend to ALL GUYS to sign up for his free newsletter, simply because what he teaches works for single men and even married men.
Get instant access to his free newsletter here.
The second stage is Sexual Desire. Sexual desire is when a woman wants to be with you sexually� in other words, she�s horny!
And when she�s horny, she�ll be openly receptive to you touching her in a sexual way. On top of that, her body will be more responsive to the sexual techniques you�ll be using.
Now that she wants to engage in sexual activities with you, she�ll be ready for Phase 2: Sensations.
This is a large section that covers 2 distinct stages: Excitement, and Plateau.
During the excitement stage, you�ll be getting her physically and mentally relaxed (so it�ll be easier for her to release her orgasm), creating arousal and transition into building up anticipation and enough sexual tension so she can have an orgasm.
The �tools� you�ll be using to get her relaxed will be a massage, and labial massage.
Most of the couples I�ve talked to don�t even consider relaxation or sexual tension in their love making.
Big mistake.
If you miss these 2 steps, it�s going to be a lot harder for her to have an orgasm.
What You�ll See During the Excitement Stage:
Overall:
� Increased heart rate
� Increased breathing rate
� Sex Flush-Her face, breasts, hands, soles of the feet, and other parts of her body may become more red (doesn�t happen in all women though)
� Muscle tone increases-she�ll feel more tense
Breasts:
� Nipples become erect
� Slight increase in breast size
� Veins become more visible
Genitals-Internal:
� Vagina becomes lubricated
� Upper 2/3 of the vagina expands
� Cervix and uterus pulls up
Genitals-External:
� Inner lips start to swell and open up
� Outer lips flatten out and spreads outwards
� Clitoris becomes larger and erect
The plateau stage is when you make direct stimulation with her genitals.
You�ll start off slow, and gradually escalate the pace until she�s reached her peak, and is ready to have an orgasm.
What You�ll See During the Plateau Stage:
Overall:
� Further increase in breathing rate and pulse rate
Breasts:
� Breast size increases further
� Areola (the darker circle surrounding the nipple) swells and becomes darker. It can lead to the appearance of the nipple flattening out
Genitals-Internal:
� Increase lubrication
� Size of the vaginal entrance becomes smaller. It�ll feel �tight� as you enter her vagina. (But since the inner 2/3 of her vagina has expanded, it�ll feel like there�s a huge amount of space in there).
Genitals-External:
� Clitoris retracts upwards into the body, hiding under the clitoral hood
� Labia swells even more, becomes thicker and changes to a darker color
Continuing the process, the �Surrender� phase is when a woman will have an orgasm. Now, I just want to make a note that because this system is designed to bring about 3 orgasms, we�ll be cycling through the Plateau and Orgasm stages three times.
Pre-Orgasm
The pre-orgasm is the moment right before the orgasm. You�ll learn what to do and what not to do to make sure that she�ll successfully have an orgasm.
The Orgasm
The orgasm is when all the sexual tension you�ve built inside of her is finally released.
After her first orgasm, she doesn�t have to enter into the Reflection Phase. Here�s why:
For guys, as you probably know, we enter in a �refractory period�. This is when, after we have an orgasm, where we can�t be sexually aroused (and usually want to sleep!) until an amount of time has passed.
On the other hand, women DO NOT have a refractory period, making it possible for them to have multiple orgasms.
IMPORTANT: Now, here�s the key strategy to the Blue Print� she�s going to go through all the steps and have an orgasm before you do, and then�instead of relaxing into the Reflection Phase� you�re going to bring her back into the �Plateau� stage and repeat the process again, giving her multiple orgasms (also, you can choose to have an orgasm during the �Multiple Orgasm Cycle�).
What You�ll See During the Orgasm Stage:
Overall:
� Sharp increase in heart rate and breathing rate
� Muscles contract throughout the body (including the pelvic muscles, arms, legs, thighs, back, buttocks, hands and feet)
� Toes may arch forward
� Panting breaths
� Uncontrollably shaking voice
� Her eyes are closed, nostrils are flared and she�s unable to speak
� She may make bold, steady eye contract with you just before she lets go
� She may look a little like she�s spellbound�� soft body, droopy limbs
� Her orgasm will last about 15-20 seconds, and as a general rule, under one minute.
� She may begin sweating noticeably
� Breasts:
� Same as plateau stage
Genitals:
� Involuntary contractions of the uterus, anus and vagina (if you have your finger or penis inside of her vagina, it might feel like her vagina is �pushing� them out)
� She may ejaculate
The last phase of the Orgasm Blueprint is Reflection.
There are 2 important aspects to this phase: one is psychological (reflection), the other is physical (resolution).
Reflection:
The Reflection Phase leads back to the Seduction Phase of the next sexual encounter. In other words, what you do here will have an impact on the next time you decide to have sex.
Psychologically, you�ll want to reinforce the pleasure and satisfaction she just had, so when the cycle loops back into �Seduction� Phase, she�ll be thinking of you more, be more attracted to you, and want sex more often!
Physically, she�s coming down, and going through a stage of �Resolution�. This is when the body is physically returning back to its original state, and she�s coming down from the orgasm.
What will you see during the Resolution Stage? Basically, her body will be returning to its normal, un-aroused state, going through a reversal that has been built up during the previous stages.
As you can see, these four phases encompass the full process of the female sexual needs and responses. In our next chapter, we�ll get into what techniques to use during each section, and how to properly perform those techniques.
The goals of the �Seduction phase� are two-folds:
1. Creating Attraction
2. Creating Sexual Desire
First, I�d want to touch on the importance of creating anticipation:
Creating the anticipation for sex is an ongoing process.
You should work at it constantly, even outside of the bedroom. And learning to do it well can mean a whole lot more sex�
Creating anticipation can begin as soon as you wake up in the morning�� whether or not you live together. It could be a quick early morning suggestive cuddle, leaving erotic notes in bound-to-be-found places, or sending kinky emails. Give her a call and offer a kinky thought for the day.
If you really examine your daily schedule, you�d be surprised how many opportunities to create anticipation and desire will come your way. A smart lover knows how to take full advantage of those options.
I think it�s important to interrupt for a moment to address those readers out there who are in long-lasting relationships: don�t think that just because you�ve lived together, gotten married or even started a family that it�s �okay� to devote less of your time and attention to this phase of your lover�s sexual response. It�s a route that can lead to all sorts of obstacles and road-blocks to a satisfying sexual intimacy.
Just because the lover in your life may have been sleeping with you for years (or even decades!) that doesn�t mean that she�s suddenly lost the need for the flirtations and sweet temptations that help build sexual tension and frustration (the good kind!)
The more worked up you�re able to get her BEFORE you head to the bedroom, the more eager and responsive your lover will be. Indeed, the longer you�ve been with your partner (and the more of your crap she�s had to put up with) the more important it is to be sure you�ve properly covered this base.
The first step in the Seduction phase is creating attraction.
NOTE: Since I�m assuming you already have a partner that you�re having sex with, I�m not going to dive into the topic of �how to attract and date women� (you can find a few helpful websites in my resources section).
But the attraction tips I�m going to share with you can work on any woman, but is specifically designed for your partner.
The very first thing that draws your partners� attention to you is eye contact. Her response to the right kind of eye contact is automatic: attraction.
The level of attraction can vary from women to women. Eye contact can simply spark a bit of sexual interest to full blown sexual desire where she�s physically aroused and wants to have sex with you.
Generally, making and holding eye contact with someone else shows that you�re at ease with the other person, and that you�re not intimidated. When your partner sees that you�re making and holding eye contact with her, she�s going to feel that you�re confident about yourself� and� the wheels of attraction are going to start turning.
Tips:
� What you want to do is look into her eyes whenever you�re talking, if she�s walking past you, or whatever situation is appropriate. (You don�t want to constantly look into her eyes while the both of you are watching a movie�that would be weird).
� When you�re holding the eye contact with her, don�t have a wide-eyed stare (you want to her believe you�re a confident man, not a creep!).
� Instead, you want to be gazing in to her eyes.
To do this:
1. Open your eyelids so that they�re about 75% open. If they�re open 100% (i.e. You�ve opened up your eyes as wide as possible), you�re going to have that scary looking stare. If they�re open too small, you�re only going to look tired, or even intoxicated. At the 75% mark is the right �look�. You�ll have that �seductive look� that you might see in the movies.
2. Tilt your head downward slightly, so that your chin is closer to your chest. This slight tilting of the head will communicate that you�re sexually interested�this will push her buttons, and she�ll start feeling this too! (On the other hand, if you tilt your head upwards instead, you�re expressing that you�re looking down at her, and she�ll think you�re a cocky bastard. Don�t do this.)
Here�s a few examples of the seductive eyes look:
3. Try not to blink too much. If you have to, blink very slowly. If you�re constantly blinking while keeping eye contact, that�s a sign of nervousness, and she�s going to feel that �vibe� from you. Once this happens, the attraction will be lost. No blinking or slow blinking is a sign of confidence.
4. Lastly, don�t break eye contact until she does! Subconsciously, she will think that you�re the one in control of the relationship, and that you are the �man�.
With eye contact, you�re already creating sexual desire in her mind. In other words, you�ve started to get her to think of sex.
But I�m going to show you how to increase it even more by making some small changes in your bedroom.
The way the body responds to the environment (in this case, the bedroom) can have a huge impact on her level of arousal.
Also, the double benefit of the environment we�re going to create is relaxation. Remember from the keys to success, if she�s tense and not relaxed, it�s going to be almost impossible for her to have an orgasm.
There will be a little bit of preparation work for this, so you want to do this before initiating any physical activity.
3 main points we�re going to cover: lighting, sound and smells.
Love making in full light might be appealing to men (and some women), but for the sake of relaxation (and ultimately orgasm) the lights must be dim.
This can be accomplished with candles, but I personally prefer a simple bedside lamp with an incandescent light bulb (too paranoid something might catch on fire!) I�ve recently experimented with more fancy lighting devices, such as lava lamps, plasma lamps, and fiber optic lamps. They work equally as well (if not better) as a regular lamp.
Sounds and music have a distinct ability to invoke powerful imagery and emotion. If this is an aspect you�ve overlooked in the past, you�d be simply amazed at the potential results.
Work on creating a killer play-list of passionate, sensual music. I have the best results with ambient, meditative or natural tunes. Thunderstorms, rainforest rhythms, or even sounds of ocean waves have vast potential for bringing your lover to new heights.
Lastly, to add spice to your arousing atmosphere, you�re going to use fragrances.
This is a powerful (almost evil) secret when used properly� Pleasurable smells can change a person�s mood almost instantly (especially when combined with the dim lighting effects and the right music).
But� here�s the secret: What you want to do here is train your partner to get sexually excited whenever she smells a fragrance by associating a particular smell with orgasms.
What you want to do is build a �scent memory� of the experience. So, the next time she smells that fragrance, it will bring back memories powerful enough to elicit an emotional response� and send her libido flying through the roof� instantly!
IMPORTANT: Be sure that whatever scent you use, that you ONLY use it during love making. This way, it will be the only association she�ll have with the scent.
There are many ways to use scents, but the most popular ones are:
� Incense
� Candles
� Aroma Jars
� Scented Oils
� Room Spray
What type of scent do you need? At first, anything that�s not repulsive. If she�s disgusted by the smell, she�s going to be totally turned off, and her desire may go down the drain.
You might have to try out a few different scents at first, but as long as her response is generally neutral, it should be fine. Remember, we�re trying to �teach� her that whenever she smells the scent, it means orgasms!
Scents you can try:
� Vanilla
� Patchouli
� Coconut
� Musk
� Jasmine
� Lavender
� Pumpkin pie
� Black licorice
You can increase her desire for sex if she has a positive sexual experience with you earlier. In other words, if she had an orgasm with you previously, then she�ll want to participate in sexual activities with you more!
On the other hand, her desire can decrease if she has a negative sexual experience with you. She�ll want to have sex with you less if this happens. You may have already experienced this already (which maybe why you�ve invested in this book in the first place).
So, essentially what you want to do after you have sex is reinforce the positive sexual experience she just had, increasing her desire for sex in the future. We�ll cover the topic in an upcoming chapter.
The trick to helping your lover release her orgasm under your control is to first get her in a state of total relaxation. In essence, you�ve got to help her unwind.
Before you want to set about increasing sexual tension, you need to first eliminate any stress. This will free your partner to focus her attention on the pleasure you�re bringing her instead of the report her boss needs on Friday or the dentist�s appointment scheduled for tomorrow morning.
Relaxation is great, but it�s a somewhat slippery slope.
Get her too relaxed and she�s likely to fall asleep. Don�t relax her enough and her mind will wander and her attention will stray. That�s why it�s a great idea to find ways to relax that will also ignite her passions. One of the best avenues to accomplish this is the art of massage.
The massage will be broken down into 2 sections: Massage and the Labial Massage.
One of the number one mistakes that many men make when it comes to their dedication to the idea of �giving� their woman an orgasm is neglecting to get her fully relaxed.
This likely stems from the fact that we tend to assume that women operate from the one-track focus that we do.
Obviously, we don�t require a state of tranquility to get off. Hell, in times of intense stress, our partners can merely start rubbing our penis and in a matter of minutes, we�re ready to blow.
And even if you are paired with a partner who doesn�t �require� the euphoric state of relaxation, that doesn�t mean that the results won�t make the walls rattle! Even the toughest of lovers will become INCREDIBLY aroused with the teasing tactics I�m about to reveal�
Women (or men either, for that matter) don�t instantly go from a state of high anxiety to one of total relaxation.
It�s a process. And just like so many other processes, there are particular steps and phases that need to be explored�
To bring the physical body into a state of relaxation, a combination of deep breathing and massage can begin to chip away at the multiple stresses that we accumulate on a day-to-day basis. Physical relaxation is the first step, and it is important. But there�s more to total relaxation than merely relieving muscular tensions�
Whether you call it an aura, a force field, or our natural electricity, each of us runs off a subtle energy network that fuels both our bodies and our minds. Many alternative therapies have reported supporting claims that a great deal of all of our physical ailments stem from disturbances in our personal energy networks.
You�ll know you�re progressing well through these steps when your lover begins to sense heaviness spreading through her limbs and then the rest of her body. In this stage, help your lover concentrate on her breathing. Have her imagine peace and tranquility flooding in with each inhale and stress and tension escaping on the exhale�
Once you�ve cleared stage two, you want to begin working on your lover�s mental and emotional stress. This can be accomplished through touch and communication.
During this stage, your lover may notice a feeling of lightness�� maybe even to the point that she feels as though she�s floating. On closer inspection, you�ll probably notice that the length of each exhale has grown longer� These signs mean you�ve reached a point of deep relaxation.
Yoga practitioners include an additional two stages of relaxation, but these are aimed more at joining the Universal Consciousness than sexual satisfaction�
First of all, remember not to focus on the ends, but instead the means to get there. In this case, don�t focus too much on the orgasm (or even total relaxation, for that matter) but totally immerse yourself in the immediate pleasure of the moment.
That doesn�t mean though that there aren�t any specifics that you should follow. Here are a few suggestions to help you get the most out of the moment�
� Endeavor to get her to the state of both mental and physical relaxation, and start out by giving her a soothing, calming non-erotic massage
� Aim to release tension so that the orgasm is easier to attain.
� Don�t forget the lighting, music, and scents mentioned in the last chapter. Remember that if you create a relaxing atmosphere in your bedroom, it will be easier for her to become relaxed.
The formula for relaxation that I always use is covered in 3 steps:
How to create a relaxation environment in your bedroom was covered in the last chapter, so there�s no need to go over it again.
But, what you want to do is bring her into the bedroom for only a few moments� and then� take her out of the room!
You�ll be building the anticipation for sex in her mind, and she�ll start getting aroused.
Where are you going to take her next? See Step 2.
You�re both going to take a shower or a bath together. Personally I like a shower best, because it�s faster than a bath and you can move into massaging quicker. Sometimes I opt for a bath instead, but it really depends on how much stress I sense my partner is in. If she�s not too stressed out, and is already excited for sex, I�ll go for the shower. If she had a long and stressful day, I�ll set up a bath.
The goal here is two folds:
1) Relaxation�� there�s nothing like a hot shower to get the both of you started in a state of relaxation. Also, the shower (or bath) acts as a transition period from the regular routines of everyday life to love making.
Try not to rush the shower or the bath. You want to take it slow and enjoy each others� company while you�re in there.
2) Cleanliness�� obviously, showering will eliminate sweat, dirt and odors from both of your bodies.
But what amazes me is how often people engage in sexual activities without cleaning up first!
I don�t know about you, but the last thing I want to see is toilet paper bits on her anus while I�m about to eat her out. Or taste and/or smell urine residue on her vagina. Yuck.
Also, if you�re doing this in the evening, she probably went to the toilet a few times during the day. And if you know anything about sitting on the can, sometimes, some of that toilet water splashes up� and� well, you get the idea.
Clean before you fuck is my motto!
Now, once you�ve cleaned up, head back into the bedroom. She�s ready for the massage.
Note: Lay down a large towel on the bed before you start. You�ll be using oil during the massage (you can use grape seed oil, baby oil, or specialty massage oils), and you don�t want to get it on your bed sheets.
Also, later on when you�re fingering her and having sex, she might ejaculate, so it�s a good idea to have a towel covering the bed sheets right away.
If you have no idea about how to give a massage, don�t worry about it. I�ll take you through each step as we go alone.
Also, you don�t have to be a professional masseuse to give a relaxing massage. With the basic massage techniques you�ll learn, and, more importantly, the sequence of where to massage, you�ll get her relaxed and sexually aroused even if you�ve never given a massage in your life!
First, a few pointers:
� When massaging, feel for any knots. They�ll feel like a lump in the muscle. These are areas of tension, and you�ll want to �smooth� them out.
� When massaging, always maintain contact with her body with your hands.
� Keep a slow, rhythmic, steady pace.
� Tell her to breathe slowly, but inhaling through her nose, and exhaling through her mouth. Also, tell her to focus on her breathing. If she focuses her attention only on breathing, it will make her forget about the stressful things in life, let go of her anxieties, making it easier for her to relax (and come to an orgasm later on).
� The general rule for massaging is to massage toward the direction of the heart
� Ideally your partner should experience your massage as one long series of rhythmic strokes.
� Basic Massage Strokes
1. Gliding:
Keep your fingers together and glide your hands along the length of her body or limb. The pressure can range from feather-light, to firm.
2. Kneading:
Gently grasp the area with both hands and make a kneading action similar to that of kneading dough. This is a firm stroke used on a specific area to help release muscle tension.
3. Friction Strokes:
Whenever you come across a knot, you want to use this stroke. Using your thumbs or fingertips, make small circular movements (slowly) and apply firm pressure.
Ok, with the massage, first she�ll be sitting upright, and you�ll be massaging her scalp. She could be sitting on your lap, or in between your legs. You�ll be sitting behind her at this point.
Step 1: Scalp Massage
Start with the scalp, curling your fingers of both hands and using the pads of your fingertips to make small, soothing circular motions. Break contact with the scalp occasionally to run your fingers sensuously through her hair.
Step 2: Ear Lobes
Now, move to her earlobes, gently massaging the sensitive flesh with the tips of your thumbs and first finger. Once you�ve finished with her ears, gather her hair up into a bed-head bunch, trying to keep strands of hair off the neck and shoulders, where you�ll be using your massage oil.
Step 3: Neck and Shoulders
Now, have her lay down on her stomach.
When massaging the neck and shoulders, you should use a firm, kneading grip, applying more noticeable levels of pressure.
Start with the neck, then traps (the muscle between the neck and shoulders) and then the shoulders. As you begin to notice that the tension is draining from her neck and shoulders, you can begin to work her back.
Step 4: Back
For the back, you should begin with plenty of oil, which you should soothe into her skin with gentle, gliding strokes.
Once her skin is well lubed, you can begin the firm, kneading pressure. Begin from the top of her back, and work your way toward her lower back.
Step 5: Ass Tease
From her lower back, switch to the gliding stroke and lightly go over her buttocks. Each hand should be placed on a separate �butt cheek�.
Now, position yourself so you can see her vagina (remember to maintain contact with her body during the massage!). At this point, she should be pretty wet.
Make one or two large circles with the palm of your hands, firm enough to spread her cheeks�then�slowly glide your hands towards the inside of her thighs (narrowly missing contact with her genitals), and move to the back of her legs, down her calves, and finally toward her toes.
She should be getting pretty excited by now!
Step 6: Foot massage
Gently knead the meaty area between her heals and the balls of her feet. Start from the area closest to the toes, and work towards the heel.
Step 7: Back of the Legs
Before moving on to the back of the knees and calves, look for subtle yet noticeable strokes and brushes across her perineum or labia to build a feverish anticipation for the devoted attention of your mouth, tongue, fingers and hands.
When massaging the legs, work both of them simultaneously. Use your massage oil liberally. When attending to the back of the knees, use soft, light feathery strokes, but not quite to the point of a tickle. She should be pleasantly uncomfortable (a little squirmy, perhaps) but not rolling around laughing her heart out.
Apply a bit more pressure on the calves� they�re using a source of tension (especially if she�s standing or walking all day long).
Knead the back of the legs, starting from the calves, and slowly work your way back up toward the buttocks.
Step 8: Buttocks
You�ve already gazed her butt, and by now she�s probably wanting you to touch it.
Grab the oil, and slowly drizzle a bit of the oil all across her ass cheeks, letting drops slip down the crack of her ass, and sliding down onto her thighs. Watch the slight shudder that follows your teasing attentions�
Begin with gentle strokes, using the whole surface of your palm�� fingers splayed, with heavier pressure on the heel of the hand versus the tips. Then begin gently, though more insistently, squeezing her bottom. If she responds well to this firmer pressure, you can use your knuckles�� of your balled fist�� for the kneading.
Next, have her turn over and lay on her back.
Once she�s on her back, position your self to her side and have your fingers and pointing towards her feet.
Step 9: Top of the Chest
Grip the chest muscles by placing your fingers into her armpit, and your thumbs on the top of her chest. With a slow circular motion of your thumbs, massage the chest. You�ll want to move from the area just under her collar bone, and work your way down
Step 10: Breasts
From here, you�ll continue to stroke and tease her breasts, saving her nipples for last. By the time you get there to kiss, lick, pinch or stroke her nipples, they�ll already be rigid with desire�� and highly sensitive. You�ll notice that as you kiss, lick and stroke her breasts and nipples, her back will arch up, in hope of more. You may also notice that she�s reaching down to touch herself�� don�t let her do it!
Step 11: Belly
From the breasts, glide your hands toward her belly.
Using the whole surface of your hand to rub up and down her abdomen, using medium to light-pressured strokes. Then, place your hands so that both of your thumbs are facing the center of the abdomen, rubbing upwards towards the ribcage, following with your cupped hands massaging up to the under-side of her breasts.
Step 12: Glide Down, and Back Up
Now, slowly glide your hands down toward her mons pubis, go around her pubic hair, towards her inner thighs, and go all the way down toward her feet in one smooth motion. You want to go past her genitals in order to tease her more, and build more anticipation.
Glide back up (you can add in some kneading strokes while you�re going up the legs, but I usually skip this) until your hands are on her inner thighs again.
At this point, your inside of your hands should be on either side of her labia.
Once you�re here, she should be:
1. Sexually excited, her vagina should be pretty wet because of the �teasing� you�ve used during the massage
2. Physically and mentally relaxed.
Again, just like massaging her body, you�re feeling for knots. This time, it�s going to feel like there�s a small piece of rice embedded under her skin. These are tiny tension spots, and you�ll want to massage them out.
Regular latex condoms will break when combined with oil, so if you�re using massage oil on her genitals, you want to make sure that you�re using Polyurethane Condoms.
Step 1: Massage
Your hands should be on either side of her outer labia (outer lips). Your thumbs should be on top of her mons pubis (above her vagina), and your fingers should be pointing downward to the ground.
Gently massage this area like you were massaging someone back of someone�s neck with both hands.
Start with your fingers at either side of her vaginal opening, and work your way towards the top (but make sure you don�t make contact with her inner lips! Only her outer lips).
Tip: Indirect Clitoral Stimulation with the Labial Massage As you massage her labia with both hands, what you can do is grasp the fatty tissue of her labia in between the index fingers and thumbs, and squeeze this fat together so it �pinches� the clitoris. (Don�t do this too hard! You don�t want to make it painful on her).
In the �pinched� position, move your hands down, and then back up, so in essence, you�re stroking her clitoris with her labia.
Step 2: Mons Pubis
Use your thumbs or finger tips and gently massage the area (remember to look for any small knots). You�ll feel her pubic bone. Work on top of it, and just above the pubic bone.
Finished!
Now, the massage is done! This massage process should take you anywhere from 10-20 minutes. There really isn�t a hard and fast rule for the amount of time you need to spend on each step of the massage. It really depends on her level of stress.
Basically, you want to make she she�s relaxed, you�ve worked out any knots, and that she�s really turned on.
Again, at this point, she�s:
1. Super aroused
2. Super relaxed
3. Ready (and probably begging) you to touch her vagina.
That�s where we�ll move onto next.
First, as you read this section, you�ll notice that the instructions leads into orgasms. If you remember from the Blueprint, the Orgasm is part of the next phase (Phase 3: Surrender).
I purposely added a section on orgasm in this chapter, because you�ll be going from stimulation to orgasm, and then back to stimulation again (in other words, multiple orgasms).
It�s just easier to follow the sequence if the Plateau and Orgasm stages stayed in one chapter.
However, the next section will dive deeper into the topic of orgasms.
Ok, now we�re going to get right into direct genital stimulation. But first, read the following before you begin:
�3 Before Me� Rule
The 3 Before Me rule basically says that you want to make sure she has 3 orgasms before she starts pleasing you. Why �3�?
� Most women don�t have an orgasm from intercourse (at least not right away). So what we�ll be doing is �setting her up� so that once you do have intercourse, it�ll be easier for her to orgasm. And even if she doesn�t have an orgasm from intercourse, because she�s already experienced 3 of them previously, she�ll still be satisfied!
� Reciprocation Principal-generally, this means that if you do something generous for someone, they�ll feel obligated to do something generous for you. In this case, you�re giving your partner the gift of female orgasms, and she�ll want to return the favor. What she reciprocates varies, but you�ll find that once it�s her turn to start sexually stimulating you, it�s going to be GOOD.
� You�ll probably be the only guy (ever!) in her life to give her 3 orgasms in one night. That will make you extra special in her mind! She�ll absolutely love you for it, and�she might even brag to her friends about you
� Once she has 3 orgasms, it really doesn�t matter if you can�t last long while having sex. She�s really not going to care if you orgasm too fast�I mean heck, she just had 3 of them.
� Make a note that this is really a loose rule. It doesn�t have to be 3 all the time; it could be 1, 5, or even 30. But the general principal applies: you want to please her FIRST before she pleases you.
The 3 orgasms are going to flow through the sequence of:
1. Clitoral Orgasm
2. G-spot Orgasm, and finally
3. Blended Orgasms
It�s important that you always start off with the clitoral orgasm. The clitoris is very sensitive, and at first, it�s going to be the most responsive (and easiest part of the body to bring a woman to an orgasm). Also, stimulating the clitoris first actually �primes� the G-spot� in other words, the G-spot will be more responsive and easier to find after clitoral stimulation.
Once she has an orgasm from clitoral stimulation, you�ll move on to stimulating the G-spot (and giving the clitoral head a �break�). At this point, her orgasm should come faster than the first one. Also, the �feel� of the G-spot orgasm will feel different to her than a clitoral orgasm. It�ll feel deeper, and there will be more involuntary contractions.
Lastly, the blended orgasm, you�ll be targeting both the clitoral head AND G-spot. This will be the most intense of the orgasms�and�if she didn�t ejaculate from G-spot stimulation, she might here.
Remember at this point after you�ve massaged your partner, she�s pretty aroused, and her clitoris might be erect by now. From here, we�ll move onto oral sex.
By far, the best tool to stimulate the clitoris is the tongue. But, you�re not going to feverishly lick her clitoris right away�you�ll go through a series of steps designed to intensify the pleasure once you focus on her clit.
Also, you�ll be using a little known technique that will let you use your fingers as a sort of �thermometer� to figure out exactly if you�re licking the right spot to bring her to an orgasm.
Before we begin, you have to be in the right position for oral sex.
There are many different ways that you can choose to enter into oral sex with your partner, but it really helps to know which are worth the effort. When it comes to getting yourself positioned, you need to be able to comfortably apply consistent, rhythmic pressure over an often extended period of time. She, on the other hand, has to be positioned so that she�s able to relax into her arousal.
Perhaps one of the biggest reasons that more of us men don�t go down on our lovers as often as they might like results from the physical strain and pain that stems from entering into oral sex from the wrong position.
Her Body:
� Flat on her back (not arched)
� Legs spread a comfortable distance apart (but not too wide-it�ll be easier for her to use her pelvic muscles)
� Legs bent at the knees
� Her vulva and labia should be pointed upwards, at an angle, towards your mouth
� She should be completely at ease and relaxed, with nothing to do but focus on the physical and mental pleasure you�re about to bring her.
Your Body:
� Position your body so that it is in a straight line with her body
� Your nose should be lightly buried in her mons
� Upper lip resting on the front edge of her pubic bone
� Your upper lip should be above her clitoral head
� Tongue should be able to rest on the vaginal entrance
Once you�re both in this position, you should be able look at each other in the eyes while you�re performing oral sex on her.
If you�re finding that your neck is straining in this position, what you can do is place a pillow underneath her buttocks. This will elevate her pelvis, bringing her vulva closer to you. You won�t have to bend your head back as much, taking off the strain from your neck.
I used to use a pillow all the time, but I found that a pillow becomes ineffective and a pain-in-the-ass after a while because it compresses, I had to constantly buy new pillows because they were soaked from her ejaculations, and typically found myself without a pillow at night!
Now I use a Liberator, and I only use it during sex. It�s ultra durable, holds its shape, and is an overall great investment, not only for oral sex, but for optimizing the angles of penetration during sex. Check it out here.
Now that you�re both in position, let�s get started.
You want to make the first lick to be a memorable one. The Setup will build more sexual tension and anticipation for your first lick, and it�ll leave her wanting more.
1. Perform a series of kisses on her left outer lip, from top to bottom. Take it slow, and don�t rush!
2. Next, do the same thing on the right side
3. Perform a series of kisses on her left inner lip, from top to bottom.
4. Next, do the same thing on the right side
5. Take about 1 second per kiss, and try to cover the entire area with your kisses (in other words, you don�t want to kiss at the top, leave a huge gap, and kiss the bottom of the lip)
1. Place your tongue on her frenulum (the base of her vagina).
2. VERY SLOWLY, lick upwards, running past her vaginal opening, and inner lips
3. As you past the clitoral head, lighten up the pressure from your tongue.
4. Keep on going up until your tongue is directly over her clitoral hood. You should feel her clitoral shaft underneath the hood with your tongue at this point.
Apply more pressure on the shaft, and slowly move your tongue from the left side to the right side of her clitoral hood�slight stimulation, but you�re going to take it away
5. Now move your tongue downwards towards the base.
6. After you�ve reached the frenulum, let your tongue rest upon the entire length of her vaginal entrance and vulva.
Key point to remember:
� Don�t rush this! Think of your tongue as a snail, moving super slow across her vulva.
� The timing you want to aim for is about 10 seconds up, 2 seconds pause on her clitoral hood, and then 10 seconds down.
� Tip: as you�re licking, count 10s-2s-10s in your head!
During this step you�ll work with 3 licking patterns.
1. Starting with your tongue on the base of her vaginal entrance, slowly lick up until you�ve passed the clitoral head and are on top of the clitoral hood, then lick downwards to the starting position. It should take 5 seconds to complete a full lick.
2. With a flat, still tongue, let it rest on her vulva for 5 seconds.
3. Repeat these steps 20 times.
1. Lick up half-way, and then lick back down. You won�t be going over the clitoris during this lick. Repeat 5 times.
2. Add in one full lick, going over the clitoris.
3. Repeat these steps 20 times
This time, your tongue is going to go over the clitoral head randomly. This will drive her crazy, because your licking �pattern� should be unpredictable!
When you�re at this pattern, be playful, and really focus on teasing her clitoris.
1. Lick up half-way, and then lick back down. Repeat anywhere from 1-10 times
2. Add in one full lick, going over the clitoris.
3. Repeat these steps 20 times
Ok, by now her clitoral head should be hard and erect. With all of the teasing you�ve been giving her has built up enough tension to release her orgasm, and she�ll be ready for the next step.
This method will help you figure out what the exact location, speed, and pressure your woman will like best. Once you find the optimal location, speed and pressure, you�ll maintain that until she has an orgasm!
As I mentioned earlier, women have involuntary contractions when they orgasm, but what you want to look for is the contractions in the vagina. You�ll be using your fingers to feel for these contractions.
You�ll �calibrate� one indicator at a time, starting with:
� the best location on her clitoris, then
� the optimal pressure of your tongue, and finally
� the right licking speed
1. Lick one or two of your fingers (index, or index and middle fingers) to lubricate them.
2. Slowly insert your finger(s) into her vagina, about 2-3 inches in, with your palms facing up.
3. Find the G-Spot. It will be on the ceiling of her vagina, and it�ll have a bumpy texture to it. Once you find it, just leave the pad of your fingers �on the button�. Don�t stimulate this area (yet)
Ok, now that your fingers are in there, what you want to do is feel for any contractions in her vagina. It will feel like her vagina is squeezing your fingers momentarily. Sometimes the squeeze is soft and barely noticeable� so you�ll have really pay attention.
4. With your tongue, slowly lick around, on top, to the side of her clitoris. What you�re trying to do here is to find a �spot� that makes her vagina squeeze.
5. Once you found the spot, apply different pressures with your tongue. You want to find the best pressure that will cause her vagina to squeeze.
6. Lastly, apply different licking speeds on that spot, using the same pressure.
7. When you�ve found all of those, hold steady! Don�t change locations, pressures or speed (even if she says so). Maintain what you�re doing, no matter what.
8. When she's nearing orgasm her vaginal muscles will start to clench hard around your fingers, and it will hold its� grip longer.
9. Keep a steady pace, rhythm and pressure�� under no circumstances change what you're doing, or you run the risk of having to start from scratch!
10. Right before she has an orgasm, she�ll squirm and want to move around�but�your job is to maintain what you�re doing until her orgasm is complete!
11. Orgasm #1!
Once she has a clitoral orgasm, we�re going to transition into G-Spot orgasms.
At this point, your fingers should still be inserted into her vagina, and the pads of your fingers sitting still on her G-Spot. As you just begin stimulating the g-spot, it�s a good idea to start out with slower, lighter strokes, and gradually crank up the speed and pressure.
First, transition into the right position:
Her Position:
Have her raise her legs so that her knees are closer to her chest. She can hold her thighs with her hands.
Your Position:
You want to change your position from laying on your stomach with your head in-between her legs, to an upright position where you�re on one knee.
Tip:
For more intimacy and an opportunity to kiss, you can lie beside her while stimulating her G-spot.
You�ll see that the way G-Spot fingering works is like a rollercoaster. You�ll start off slow and light, increase the speed and pressure�then�switch the technique and repeat the process again.
By doing this, you�re building up further anticipation and sexual tension for the orgasm. On top of that, it�ll be easier on your fingers, wrists and forearms too! Fingering and pumping away at the G-spot can become very tiring on your arms, so switching intensities allow you to let your muscles rest.
We�ll cover 4 basic techniques here. Once you�ve mastered these, you can �plug and play� some of the more advance techniques listed in the advance fingering report. Just remember whatever technique you use, that you start off slow and light and gradually build up the intensity.
� Slowly rub the G-spot in a forward and backwards motion with the pad of your finger(s).
� Aim for: 100 slow/light strokes, 100 medium strokes, and 100 fast/hard strokes
� Now, begin to rub very lightly, tracing small, light circles.
� Aim for: 100 slow/light strokes, 100 medium strokes, and 100 fast/hard strokes
You can do this using either one, two, or even (if she�s ready for it�) three fingers.
� Start making the motion similar to telling someone to �come here�. The pads of your fingers should be run across her G-spot with each stroke. (be careful not to dig your nails into the ceiling of her vaginal walls-you want to �rub� not �scratch�!)
� Aim for: 100 slow/light strokes, 100 medium strokes, and 100 fast/hard strokes
� Finally, you�re going to add a quick �up-and-down� motion with your hands while performing the come hither stroke at the same time.
� As you�re doing this, you�ll be �pumping� your arms up and down, and in effect her body will start bouncing up and down as well.
� Place your free hand just above her pubic bone, and push down so she doesn�t bounce up too much.
� Aim for: 100 slow/light strokes, 100 medium strokes, and 100 fast/hard strokes
� This time, if you need to, if she still hasn�t climaxed, go back to the slow strokes and build up the speed and pressure again.
The �Blended Orgasm� technique combines your tongue and your fingers to give her a clitoral and G-Spot orgasm.
If your forearms are tired, you can switch arms and insert the fingers of your opposite hand.
You�re going start with oral, and then add in G-Spot stimulation.
Position:
She�ll keep her legs up in the air with her knees to her chest, while your position is the same as the oral sex position you were in.
Steps:
� Starting with your tongue on the base of her vaginal entrance, slowly lick up until you�ve passed the clitoral head and are on top of the clitoral hood, then lick downwards to the starting position. It should take 5 seconds to complete a full lick.
� With a flat, still tongue, let it rest on her vulva for 5 seconds.
� Repeat these steps 5-10 times.
� Lick one or two of your fingers (index, or index and middle fingers) to lubricate them.
� Slowly insert your finger(s) into her vagina, about 2-3 inches in, with your palms facing up.
� Find the G-Spot. It will be on the ceiling of her vagina, and it�ll have a bumpy texture to it. Once you find it, just leave the pad of your fingers �on the button�. Don�t stimulate this area (yet)
� With your tongue, slowly lick around, on top, to the side of her clitoris. What you�re trying to do here is to find a �spot� that makes her vagina squeeze.
� Once you found the spot, apply different pressures with your tongue. You want to find the best pressure that will cause her vagina to squeeze.
� Lastly, apply different licking speeds on that spot, using the same pressure.
� When you�ve found all of those, remember to maintain what you�re doing, no matter what.
� Once you�ve found it, maintain the clitoral stimulation, and start with the G-spot strokes!
Because she�s already climaxed twice at this point, it really doesn�t take much to get her to orgasm again. She might even orgasm before you stimulate her G-spot!
IMPORTANT: Just remember that while rubbing her G-spot, to maintain the same oral stimulation on her clitoris! It might be tough at first, because it does take some coordination.
If you�re having a hard time coordinating your tongue and your fingers together, just stick to the come hither stroke.
1. In-Out Stroke:
� Slowly rub the G-spot in a forward and backwards motion with the pad of your finger(s).
� Aim for: 100 slow/light strokes, 100 medium strokes, and 100 fast/hard strokes
2. Circles:
� Now, begin to rub very lightly, tracing small, light circles.
� Aim for: 100 slow/light strokes, 100 medium strokes, and 100 fast/hard strokes
3. Come Hither:
� You can do this using either one, two, or even (if she�s ready for it�) three fingers.
� Start making the motion similar to telling someone to �come here�. The pads of your fingers should be run across her G-spot with each stroke. (be careful not to dig your nails into the ceiling of her vaginal walls-you want to �rub� not �scratch�!)
� Aim for: 100 slow/light strokes, 100 medium strokes, and 100 fast/hard strokes
4. Tapping:
� Finally, you�re going to add a quick �up-and-down� motion with your hands while performing the come hither stroke at the same time.
� Aim for: 100 slow/light strokes, 100 medium strokes, and 100 fast/hard strokes
� This time, if you need to, if she still hasn�t climaxed, go back to the slow strokes and build up the speed and pressure again.
�that�s it! She has just experienced a clitoral, G-Spot, and Blended Orgasm!
Now, what comes after is really up to the both of you. It could include (but not limited to):
� Stop the love making session and move into �after play� (more on this later)
� She pleases you
� Have intercourse (check out the �Best Sex Positions� special report for this one.)
� Give her more orgasms (through oral, fingering, a combination of both, or through intercourse).
You�ve set up a relaxing atmosphere, gave her a massage, labial massage, oral sex, G-spot, blended� and taken her to at least 3 orgasms.
Since we�ve already touched on the subject of how-to techniques to bring a woman to an orgasm in the previous chapter, this chapter will focus on some of the finer details of the pre-orgasm, and the orgasm.
Just moments before she has an orgasm, you�ll notice that her breathing gets deeper, she starts sweating, vagina contracts more often, and her body begins to tense up and relax.
This is the transition from the Plateau stage, where you�re building up the sexual tension, to the Orgasm, where she�s about to release the tension.
The �Pre-Orgasm� is where, I believe, most people reach.
They�ve built up the sexual tension to the point of where she�s on the brink of having an orgasm�but all of a sudden, it�s gone!
Here are some very important points to remember to guarantee that she�ll successfully have an orgasm:
Whatever you�re doing up until this point, hold steady and maintain what you�re doing� don�t change! Maintain contact, speed, rhythm, pressure etc.
Often times couples will either go faster, slower, or stop altogether when she�s close to having an orgasm. But� the trick that if it�s working already, don�t change a thing.
The orgasm will fall into place if you maintain what has been working so far.
Whether you�re performing oral sex on her, fingering, or having intercourse, during the time right before an orgasm she might be tempted to move. Don�t let her!
What you�re doing is literally overwhelming her with physical pleasure. It�s almost like there�s TOO much sexual tension injected into her, and she wants to release it somehow. What you want is the tension to be released as an orgasm, but sometimes, women might squirm, and move around.
If she moves to a different position, whatever it is you�re doing won�t feel as good sexually. This build up of sexual tension and pleasure has stopped, and she�ll no longer feel overwhelmed by physical pleasure� but� this is not what you (or what she) wants! You want to drive her over the edge!
When you know that she�s very close to having an orgasm, you need to encourage her that it�s okay to just let go, and not to trap those feelings inside.
It might even be the case that she�s afraid of urinating from G-spot stimulation (more on this below). If this is so, she�ll tense up as if she was holding in her urine, and she�ll likely not be able to experience an orgasm. She has to be relaxed, and feel comfortable even if she does expel a little bit of fluid from her body (it�s not urine though!)
Finally, do a quick check to make sure that she�s not holding her breath. She�s got to breathe in order to cum.
Though she might not realize it, by holding her breath, she�s inadvertently holding back her orgasm. If you notice that holding her breath is habitual, you might want to gently coach her to take in a few slow, deep breaths.
Once she�s having an orgasm, the main indicators you�ll see are spasms, or, involuntary contractions of her body, and most importantly, her vaginal muscles.
Again�
The techniques you have been using have brought you this far and you want to �squeeze out� every last bit of her orgasm as possible.
Also, with the continued stimulation during orgasm, she�ll have a more intense orgasm as opposed to if you simply stopped.
The only time you should stop is when her orgasm is complete, and the involuntary bodily contractions has ceased.
Female orgasms are easy to fake to someone who doesn�t know what to look for. We�ve seen women faking orgasms in porno films, and we might have experienced a woman faking an orgasm ourselves!
Is She Too Vocal?
Typically, the women who fake orgasm tend to be very vocal (obviously borrowed from the climatic scenes of adult movies). If she�s screaming, moaning, in a tone where it doesn�t sound like her voice is shaking�or�if she�s saying things that sound �clear� (for example: �Oh My God!� vs. �Oo-h-oohh m-m-m-y-y-�oo�g-g-g..od..!�), then that�s a sign she�s faking.
Contractions and Other Physical Signs
During orgasms, a woman vagina and anus will contract. During a real orgasm, the vagina will contract strongly at about 1 contraction every 0.8 seconds. A woman can mimic a strong vaginal contraction, but to do it at that pace is very difficult.
Other signs she�s faking:
� She doesn�t have the �Sex Flush� (reddish skin)
� Her anus isn�t contracting
� Pupil size hasn�t dilated
The chances of her faking the full body spasms, vaginal contractions, shaking voice, reddish sex flush, along with the sweating, vaginal lubrication and other physical indicators are slim to none.
Multiple orgasms can be a difficult topic to handle because so many women think that they�re incapable of having them.
The truth is that all women have the inherent biological capacity to achieve them. It�s just that not all of them have the experience or recognize the natural potential.
Once your partner has her first orgasm, that should make it easier (and more intimate) for her to maintain and escalate her arousal by transitioning into a cool-down bonding time of cuddling and kissing, before moving into g-spot stimulating intercourse or continued manual stimulation.
That said there are some pretty good selling points regarding multiple orgasms. First off, it�s actually easier for your lover to experience her second (or third or fourth) orgasm because her engines are already primed.
She�s relaxed, aroused, sexually sensitive and responsive.
As I�ve already mentioned, most women are naturally (and quite often obliviously) multiple orgasmic. If she can cum once, she can almost positively do it again (some women can have as many as 50 consecutive orgasms!)
Right after the orgasm, her clitoris will be very sensitive, so you want to allot a few moments of a �break� before stimulating her again. Additionally, keeping things slow can help you cool off a bit and help you to last longer and regain some of your strength and stamina.
At this point, move into cuddling and kissing, where the both of you can take a break from the action�but�keep the palm of your hands covering her entire genital area. As you�re kissing, you can start to rub her vulva slowly with the palm of your hands.
If she pushes you away, then, it�s too soon to move back in.
However, is she moans, presses her genitals against your palms, or any other sign that what you�re doing is making her feel good, then you know you can move back to stimulating her again.
Sometimes when a woman has an orgasm, she may actually ejaculate. This is especially true for orgasms as a result of G-spot stimulation.
This happens because of the Para-Urethral Glands, which is a female version of a man�s prostrate gland. The fluid the para-urethral glands produce is similar to that produced by the male prostate and, as in the male, passes into the urethra�� and in some cases may pass into the vagina. The glands fill with fluid during sexual arousal and may be felt through the vaginal wall.
Many people who experience a squirting orgasm think that this liquid is pee, or even vaginal lubrication, but studies of the fluid ejaculated through the urethra have shown a different chemical composition than urine�it�s clear, and if you actually smell it, you�ll find that it doesn�t smell like urine at all! (Doesn�t smell like anything at all really).
To minimize the amount of urine that could possibly come it, have her urinate before you start your sexual activity.
Also, have some towels laying on the bed to soak up any fluids that come out.
Women sometimes will get the feeling that they need to urinate when their G-spot is stimulated. This is perfectly normal, however, the problem comes in when she becomes concerned and self conscious about wetting the bed.
This can drive her in a state of arousal and relaxation, to the point of stress and anxiety. If this happens, she may not be able to have an orgasm at all at this point. If she�s trying hard to hold it in, she�s not focusing on the sexual pleasure you�re giving her.
I can�t stress enough that in order for these tips to work, your lover needs to be relaxed and completely comfortable with you. This means that you�ll need a strong enough emotional bond for her to feel safe �letting go.� If she feels inhibited, she probably won�t be able to ejaculate Along with the precaution of urinating before any sexual activity, another key factor in female ejaculation (and orgasms) is relaxation. This is why the steps of massaging and having a relaxing atmosphere are included in this system.
She needs to be completely relaxed, and be perfectly comfortable if she does happen to ejaculate. If she gets the feeling that she needs to pee, let her know that she can �let it all out�. She won�t be peeing the bed, but it will still be really wet once the ejaculate gushes out.
If she�s still concerned, you can try stimulating her in the bathtub so any fluids that do come out doesn�t soak up the bed.
A trick you can use to �train� your partner into become more comfortable with �letting go� is to go with her to the bathroom whenever she�s urinating.
If she hasn�t urinated with you in the same room, she might feel anxious, and have a hard time urinating. Let her get comfortable with you to the point where she can easily pee while you�re there.
Once she releases her PC muscles and starts urinating, reassure her and comfort her by saying, �Good girl� (or whatever line you want to use). Associating the encouraging words along with your presence will allow her to feel comfortable enough to let go and urinate. Do this until she�s perfectly comfortable with you being there when she�s urinating.
Now, whenever you�re stimulating her G-spot, say �Good girl� (or whatever line you used in the bathroom). Because you�ve already trained her to the point where she feels relaxed urinating in your presence while you�re encouraging her, she won�t have the previously held inhibitions, and she�ll end up �letting go� and possibly ejaculating!
Lastly, another way to �train� a woman to ejaculate is by strengthening her PC muscles. Check out the Special Report �How to Guarantee Orgasms� where you�ll find a detailed guide.
Physically, during this phase, her body is cooling down and returning to her normal, un-aroused state.
Her breast size, clitoris, inner and outer lips return to normal size, and the reddish �sex flush� is starting to go away� this is Resolution.
Psychologically she�s coming down to her normal mindset� but� it�s in her mind where you �seal the deal� and guarantee that she�ll be wanting more of you in the future.
Too many men get so caught up in the performance review of how many times (and how hard) she came that they lose sight of one of the most critical phase of a woman�s sexual response�� Reflection.
And, for any of you that may believe otherwise�� this isn�t an elective, its core curriculum. Women crave and require it. And men that understand this, and take advantage of it, have discovered a secret that we touched upon earlier in this book:
The pleasure and satisfaction during one sexual experience doesn�t just end after the point of orgasm. Smart lovers know that it can be continued on and lead to the seduction phase of your NEXT intimate encounter.
If, during the period after sex, the experience didn�t seem to offer her pleasure and satisfaction, she may not even desire to give you the chance for a �rematch��in other words, if the sex wasn�t good for her both physically and psychologically, there�s no reason for her to want to have sex next time around.
To a woman, it�s during the space of time after you�ve cum that shows what you�re all about�� whether you�re considerate, compassionate, intimate or romantic, or if you�re just a big selfish lug who, minutes after an orgasm, is already asleep and snoring.
When it comes to your post-climax activities, you�ve got about three ready options, each with their own consequences and rewards. Admittedly, each of these options has their own time and place, but when it comes to deciding which option you�ll choose to be your �norm�, consider carefully�
A tempting option, I know�� especially if you�ve spent the last hour heroically tending to her sexual needs. But, before you roll over and sleep, you�d better weigh your options�
Another option, though perhaps not as tempting as a good nap, is running off to �seize the day� within moments of your orgasm. To be fair, this response is associated with the way our chemicals and hormones react after we orgasm.
Once we cum, we�re finally able to STOP thinking about sex and get back to the more mundane things in life. And though it may help you get your goals accomplished, she�ll more than likely be left less than pleased.
Why? Because to some women, hopping right up, getting dressing and running off can make them feel less like lovers and more like a mere �booty call.� Sure, if both of you already know that you�ve got plans for the day, or you�re running late for an appointment, you can let it slide. But, otherwise, for your sake, choose one of the following two options.
Want your lover to stay madly and completely in love with you?
Then don�t scrimp when it comes to what you do AFTER sex! To a woman, what you do after sex really shows her what you�re all about. The little things give her the small indications about what kind of man you are (and what she thinks you think about her).
Take the time for a little �after play� and enjoy your after-glow. You�d be amazed what an extra fifteen minutes can accomplish, so don�t take this opportunity for granted. So, get ready to snuggle up, share a few kisses and spend a little time talking, smiling and touching together.
This allows you to stay �connected� and strength the emotional bonds that lead to a healthy relationship�� sexual, emotional and otherwise.
Tapping into this, and giving her the attention and respect she deserves means that you�ll have the key to making her want (and want to give) more sex the next time around.
Simply cuddling, talking, and �being� with her physically and emotionally after love making� combined with the fact that she thinks you�re responsible for her orgasms is like making little deposits in the �Desire� account.
The better she feels about her sexual experience with you this time, will create more desire to be with you next time.
So remember that psychologically during this stage, you�ll want to reinforce the positive sexual experience she just had, so when the cycle loops back into �Desire�, she�ll be thinking of you more, be more attracted to you, and want sex more often.
Not a bad deal for an extra 15 minutes of time, don�t you think? ☺
In this section, I�ll introduce you to some of the routines that I regularly use. I�ve divided them up into �Beginner�, �Intermediate� and �Advance�.
You�ll find that the general outlines of all the routines are the same. They follow the different phases (Seduction, Sensation, Surrender and Reflection) and stages (Desire, Excitement, Plateau, Orgasm, and Resolution) of the blueprint. In other words, the overall �strategy� to female orgasms is the same, while the �tactics� can vary.
You�ll also notice that within each section of the beginner, intermediate and advance routines, many of the �what to do�s� are the same. For example, the routines all have the same massaging sequence. I purposely made this the same, because they work in achieving the goals of each section.
However, this doesn�t mean that you always have use exactly what�s listed. As long as you accomplish the overall goal for each section, you should be fine. For example, you want to make sure she�s physically relaxed before any heavy sexual contact. I�ve outlined a basic massage sequence, but you use other massaging techniques in place of what I�ve written down. As long as she�s physically relaxed, you�re good to go.
The main things that are different in the beginner, intermediate and advance routines are the sexual techniques you�ll use.
You can find all the techniques in the Oral Sex Secrets, Advance Fingering Techniques, and Best Sex Positions special reports.
Lastly, I want you to use these routines as a model to creating your own custom routines. You can �plug-and-play� different techniques and different positions into each section, creating a different experience for yourself and your partner every time you make love. But just make sure that you stick to the overall �strategy�, and only change around the techniques.
It�s a bit like making up an exercise routine, where you�ll have a 1) warm up, 2) main workout, and 3) cool down. You can always warm up on an exercise bike to get the heart rate up and the blood flowing through your muscles and you can cool down by taking a brisk walk. But the main workout can always be different, composed of different exercises, weight, reps, and sets. What you do IN your workout is different, but you�ll always have the warm up, main workout, and cool down �strategy�.
Now, let�s get into the routines!
Eye contact
Atmosphere
□ Lighting
□ Music
□ Scents
Stage I: Excitement
Step I: Massage
A. Shower/Bath
A1. Relaxation Massage
□ Sitting Upright:
��Scalp
��Ear lobes
□ On Her Stomach
��Neck and shoulders
��Back
��Ass Tease
��Foot
��Back of the legs
��Buttocks
□ On her back
��Top of the chest
��Brest
��Belly
��Glide your hands down, and back up so your hands rest on either side of her labia
A2. Erotic Massage
Step II: Labial Massage
□ Massage labia
□ Massage mons pubis
Stage II: Plateau and Orgasm
B. Orgasm 1: Oral
First Contact
□ Kisses around her labia
□ Long lick
Establishing Rhythm
□ Lick-Rest Cycle
□ 5 Half-way Licks, 1 Full Lick Cycle
□ Random Half-way and Full Licks
□ Secret Twitch
C. Orgasm 2: G-spot Fingering
□ In-Out Stroke
□ Circles
□ Come Hither
□ Tapping
D. Orgasm 3: Blended Orgasm
□ Lick-Rest Cycle
□ Secret Twitch to find �hot spot� with your tongue
□ In-Out Stroke (keep stimulating clitoris with your tongue)
□ Circles (keep stimulating clitoris with your tongue)
□ Come Hither (keep stimulating clitoris with your tongue)
□ Tapping (keep stimulating clitoris with your tongue)
E. (Her turn to please you, and/or Sex)
□ Spend minimum of 15 minutes cuddling, talking, and �being� with her (so that it reinforces the positive sexual experience she just had, increasing her desire for you and sex).
Eye contact
Atmosphere
□ Lighting
□ Music
□ Scents
Stage I: Excitement
Step I: Massage
A. Shower/Bath
A1. Relaxation Massage
□ Sitting Upright
��Scalp
��Ear lobes
□ On Her Stomach
��Neck and shoulders
��Back
��Ass Tease
��Foot
��Back of the legs
��Buttocks
□ On her back
��Top of the chest
��Brest
��Belly
��Glide your hands down, and back up so your hands rest on either side of her labia
A2. Erotic Massage
Step II: Labial Massage
□ Massage labia
□ Massage mons pubis
Stage II: Plateau and Orgasm
B. Orgasm 1: Oral
First Contact
□ Kisses around her labia
□ Long lick
□ Cool Breath
Establishing Rhythm
□ Lick-Rest Cycle
□ 5 Half-way Licks, 1 Full Lick Cycle
□ Clitoral Circles (around the clitoris)
□ Clitoral Circles (on the clitoris)
□ Tongue Grind
□ Secret Twitch
C. Orgasm 2: G-spot Fingering
□ Have her get in the Doggy Style Position
□ In-Out Stroke
□ Circles (Clockwise X, Counter Clockwise)
□ 3 Finger Sweep (2-3 sweeps)
□ �Hitting� the G-Spot
□ Come Hither
□ Tapping
D. Orgasm 3: Blended Orgasm
□ Lick-Rest Cycle
□ Secret Twitch to find �hot spot� with your tongue
□ Circles (keep stimulating clitoris with your tongue)
□ 3 Finger Sweep (2-3 sweeps)
□ Come Hither (keep stimulating clitoris with your tongue)
□ Tapping (keep stimulating clitoris with your tongue)
E. (Her turn to please you, and/or Sex)
□ Spend minimum of 15 minutes cuddling, talking, and �being� with her (so that it reinforces the positive sexual experience she just had, increasing her desire for you and sex).
Eye contact
Atmosphere
□ Lighting
□ Music
□ Scents
Stage I: Excitement
Step I: Massage
A. Shower/Bath
A1. Relaxation Massage
□ Sitting Upright:
��Scalp
��Ear lobes
□ On Her Stomach
��Neck and shoulders
��Back
��Ass Tease
��Foot
��Back of the legs
��Buttocks
□ On her back
��Top of the chest
��Brest
��Belly
��Glide your hands down, and back up so your hands rest on either side of her labia
A2. Erotic Massage
Step II: Labial Massage
□ Massage labia
□ Massage mons pubis
B. Orgasm 1: Oral
First Contact
□ Kisses around her labia
□ Hot Breath
□ Long lick
□ Cool Breath
□ Long lick
□ Altoids Peppermint Trick
Establishing Rhythm
□ Labial Hold
□ Clitoral Suction Cup (hold for 30 seconds)
□ Alphabet
□ Quick Clitoral Suck x 20
□ Circles + Tracing
□ Suck and Flick Combo
□ Tongue Fucking
□ Secret Twitch
C. Orgasm 2: G-spot Fingering
□ The Cork Screw
□ 3 Finger Sweep (2-3 sweeps)
□ Side-to-Side
□ 3 Finger Sweep (2-3 sweeps)
□ Forward and Backwards
□ 3 Finger Sweep (2-3 sweeps)
□ Circles
□ 3 Finger Sweep (2-3 sweeps)
□ 2 Handed techniques, Alternating motions
□ The Clamp
□ Get in her the straddle position
□ Come here
□ Tapping
D. Orgasm 3: Blended Orgasm
□ Lick-Rest Cycle
□ Cool Breath
□ Secret Twitch to find �hot spot� with your tongue
□ The Finger Flutter (keep stimulating clitoris with your tongue)
□ 3 Finger Sweep (2-3 sweeps)
□ Circles (keep stimulating clitoris with your tongue)
□ 3 Finger Sweep (2-3 sweeps)
□ Come Hither (keep stimulating clitoris with your tongue)
□ 3 Finger Sweep (2-3 sweeps)
□ Tapping (keep stimulating clitoris with your tongue)
E. (Her turn to please you, and/or Sex)
□ Spend minimum of 15 minutes cuddling, talking, and �being� with her (so that it reinforces the positive sexual experience she just had, increasing her desire for you and sex).
Eye contact
Atmosphere
□ Lighting
□ Music
□ Scents
Stage I: Excitement
Step I: Massage
A. Shower/Bath
A1. Relaxation Massage
□ Sitting Upright
��Scalp
��Ear lobes
□ On Her Stomach
��Neck and shoulders
��Back
��Ass Tease
��Foot
��Back of the legs
��Buttocks
□ On her back
��Top of the chest
��Brest
��Belly
��Glide your hands down, and back up so your hands rest on either side of her labia
A2. Erotic Massage
Step II: Labial Massage
□ Massage labia
□ Massage mons pubis
Stage II: Plateau and Orgasm
B. Orgasm 1: Oral
First Contact
□ Kisses around her labia
□ Long lick
Establishing Rhythm
□ __________________
□ __________________
□ __________________
□ __________________
□ __________________
□ Secret Twitch
C. Orgasm 2: G-spot Fingering
□ __________________
□ __________________
□ __________________
□ __________________
D. Orgasm 3: Blended Orgasm
□ __________________ (Oral technique)
□ Secret Twitch to find �hot spot� with your tongue
□ __________________ (Fingering technique-keep stimulating clitoris with your tongue)
□ __________________ (Fingering technique-keep stimulating clitoris with your tongue)
□ __________________ (Fingering technique-keep stimulating clitoris with your tongue)
E. (Her turn to please you, and/or Sex)
□ Spend minimum of 15 minutes cuddling, talking, and �being� with her (so that it reinforces the positive sexual experience she just had, increasing her desire for you and sex).
Here�s some of the stuff that I recommend in the manual, all compiled into one convenient area.
I�ve also included a few resources about topics that a few readers had concerns about (namely, penis enlargement and erection issues).
Here are the categories:
� Dating
� Sex Add-On Tools
� Condoms
� Lubrication
� Massage
� Kegels
� Penis Enlargement
� Premature Ejaculation
� Erection Problems
Also, I�m always experimenting with new stuff. If I come across something that I think can be valuable to you, I�ll post it on the �Resources� page.
So be sure to bookmark this page!
If you have a recommendation of a product, website, or whatever, let me know too! You can email that to me at leejenkins@femaleorgasmblackbook.com, with the subject: �Recommended�. Just write your comments on whatever it is you want to recommend, provide a link, and I�ll share it with everyone else on the resources page :)
His free newsletter is by David DeAngelo, and is somewhat similar to mine, but the difference is that he takes the approach of helping guys become more successful with women (in terms of meeting, attracting, and dating them). Check it out if you think you need help with meeting and attracting women.
He also has a book called �Double Your Dating� that�s dirt cheap. I suggest you get it.
Another dating book, but this one is written by a woman. Not too bad looking either ;)
� Liberator (People in the UK can go to Liberator UK)
I�ve mentioned the Liberator Wedge a few times throughout the manual. You can take a look at some of the other sex positions you can use with the Liberator Wedge.
Also, take a look at the video clips that show the Liberator in use.
It�s a solid product, but don�t take my word for it. Here�s a list of websites that have reviewed the Liberator: Reviews
You can use a scarf, but these are pretty comfortable.
Tip: If you blindfold your partner (added tip: AND have hear wear earplugs), her sense of sight will be deprived. However, her sense of TOUCH will be magnified, so whatever you do to her, she�ll feel it a lot more. Also, using a blindfold makes the situation a little more exciting.
I don�t know about you, but I really hate going to the corner store or pharmacy to pick up a pack of condoms.
Why? Well, to me it�s a bit embarrassing to buy condoms in public, because you really never know who you�ll bump into�
Also, I�m the kind of guy who likes to buy in bulk, so I don�t have to always go back to the store again and again to buy what I need. I�ve tried to buy like 15 packs of condoms at the super market once, and lets just say that everyone around me gave me a shocked, �Oh my God he�s a pervert!� look.
Ordering from Undercover Condoms solved my problems.
Fast shipping, and decent prices.
These are designed for people who are allergic to latex and can�t use latex condoms. But they also have the benefit of being thin, so it allows more sensation to a guy compared to latex condoms.
Also, you can use these condoms with oil (massage oils or oil based lubrication). Regular latex condoms will break when combined with oil. If you�re using massage oil on her genitals, you want to make sure that you�re using polyurethane condoms.
The downside of these condoms is that they�re a bit more expensive than latex condoms, and they�re not as flexible.
My favorite lube! You can use whatever lubrication you want, but I find that Astroglide doesn�t get thick and sticky like some of the other products I�ve tried.
Like the title says� if you want to expand your knowledge of massage, check out this site. One of the reasons why I like this website is that it offers video lessons, so it�s easy to see what you need to do when massaging.
Grape seed oil is sufficient (you can buy this at a grocery or health food store) for massaging.
Personally I like the Kama Sutra brand massage oils (which contains a mix of different oils and vitamin E), especially the �Pleasure Garden�. It has a distinct, musky smell to it that tends to make women even more horny!
Strong PC muscles = stronger orgasms, and possibly female ejaculation. �nuff said.
Even though �size doesn�t matter� when it comes to female orgasms, men still have issues about their penis sizes.
I�ll have to admit that I haven�t tried out any penis enlargement products, but since a lot of my readers have told me that they�re worried about their size, I�ve taken the time to gather some sites you might want to check out:
A pretty informative website about penis enlargement, techniques, and advice. You can also contact the owner of the site with your questions too.
This is an online forum about penis enlargement, where users share their experiences, product reviews, progress and even before and after photos! (You�ll need to register to read the �Enlargement Progress Tracking� section).
Last time I checked there were just over 50,000 registered members.
If you�re new to the penis enlargement (PE) world, I suggest you register and check out the �Newbie Enlargement Talk� section.
Typically when I�m cumming too fast, that usually means that I haven�t had sex in a while, so everything is extra sensitive. My solution is pretty simple actually�I just use thicker condoms! And then gradually move onto thinner condoms as my performance gets better.
However, if I find that I still have problems with thick condoms, I�ll resort to this�
� Sliquid Stay Male Desensitizer Spray
Sometimes, I�ll use a desensitizing spray with a �Lidocane solution�, such as the Sliquid Stay Male Desensitizer Spray. Basically, what you do is spray then on your penis, and then slip on a condom. The spray essentially dulls the nerves on your penis, so you won�t feel as much sensation, making you last longer during sex.
(Note: If you decide to use a spray, make sure that it doesn�t come in contact with your woman�s genitals-it�ll desensitize her too. Also, don�t spray too much of it on your penis, or else you won�t feel a thing AT ALL, and you�ll end up hammering away for hours� you might even get bored of sex!)
Check out the Sliquid Stay Male Desensitizer here.
That�s really my quick fix solution. If you need a more involved program, you might want to take a look at the Ejaculation Master program.
When you think of erection problems, or erectile dysfunction (ED), what solution immediately comes in mind?
Answer: Viagra (Sildenafil).
And why is that? Mostly because it�s the solution that works. Elderly men use it so that they can have an erection, and even male porn stars use it in order to maintain a stiff erection while filming (it can be hard� no pun intended. But imagine having to maintain an erection while there�s camera crew around you, a director giving you instructions, etc. etc.)
More information on sildenafil here.
Other medications include:
Levitra (Vardenafil): It is similar to Viagra in that it is a PDE-5 inhibitor (whatever that means!), but some research shows that Levitra acts faster and its effects last longer than Viagra.
Here�s some more information on vardenafil.
Cialis (Tadalafil): Cialis is one of the newest of the new drugs for erectile dysfunction. It�s known to last 24-36 hours (crazy!), and apparently works really fast (within 30 minutes).
Click here for more information on tadalafil.
Now, there are �herbs� out there that claim to be the herbal equivalent to ED medication, but I personally believe that they don�t really work, and that the people marketing these products are just trying to make money from people with real serious issues. (It�s just like the fitness industry� there�s a lot of crap supplements out there that don�t work).
So, if you do have ED and think that these medications can help you, consult your doctor. You want to make sure you get expert advice when it comes to medication.
First, I want to congratulate you for finishing this manual!
I�ve spilled my brains out on the table for you, and now you know everything I know.
The strategies and the techniques in the Female Orgasm Black Book can literally turn your relationship around, give women the most wonderful physical feeling they can ever experience� and� provide you with the comfort and satisfaction of knowing that you have the ability to make the woman in your life very, very happy.
Now you know, and you have the strategies and the tools. The only thing left for you is to put it into action.
When you and your partner test out this system and have success, please feel free to leave me a testimonial on the link below:
http://www.femaleorgasmblackbook.com/testimonial
I would love to hear from you� and� if other men, women and couples hear about your experience, you could have an impact on their decision to change their love life just as you did.
Also, if you haven�t already, be sure to register in order to receive updates to this manual, special *customers only* bonuses, and other stuff I haven�t thought of yet� (hey, it�s 4:00AM in the morning and I�m tired!)
Lastly, I want to thank you for reading this manual in full and hope you�ll have a better-than-satisfying sex life for a long, long time.
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There was a lot of work that went into putting this document together. I can't tell you how many countless hours are spent putting together this manual. That means that this information has value, and your friends, neighbors, and co-workers may want to share it.
The information in this document is copyrighted. I would ask that you do not share this information with others-you purchased this book, and you have a right to use it on your system. Another person who has not purchased this book does not have that right. If you have this file (or a printout) and didn�t pay for it you are depriving the author and publisher of their rightful royalties.
If your friends think this information is valuable enough to ask you for it, they should think it is valuable enough to purchase on their own. After all, the price is low enough that just about anyone should be able to afford it.
It should go without saying that you cannot post this document or the information it contains on any electronic bulletin board, Web site, FTP site, newsgroup, P2P file sharing programs, or� well, you get the idea. The only place from which this document should be available is the FemaleOrgasmBlackBook.com website. If you want an original copy, visit FemaleOrgasmBlackBook.com.
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Don�t forget to check out www.FemaleOrgasmBlackbook.com/resources!