I SAW MOMMY CHEWING SANTA CLAUS

Sung to the tune of �I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus�

I saw Mommy chewing Santa Claus

Underneath the Christmas tree last night.

I snuck up without a peep

Behind Mommy, the Zombie creep,

Now she�s biting off Santa Claus�s cheek.

When I saw Mommy chewing Santa Claus

Underneath his beard now turning red,

Oh what a laugh we would have said

If Daddy weren�t already dead

While Mommy chewed on Santa Claus last night.

ZOMBIES ON THE HOUSETOP

Sung to the tune of �Up on the Housetop�

Up on the housetop, Zombies pause,

Eating poor old Santa Claus.

Down through the chimney come Santa�s parts.

Once a Zombie bites�ouch that smarts!

Chorus

Ho, Ho, Ho, better not go.

Ho, Ho, Ho, better not go.

Up on the housetop, snack, snack, snack.

Down through the chimney comes Santa�s back.

First comes the corpse of little Nell.

Oh, those Zombies bit it well.

Forget about a dolly that laughs and cries,

Zombies die first then open their eyes.

Chorus

Next the undead are stalking little Will.

Oh, just see he�s a glorious meal.

We use a hammer and lots of tacks,

And he has a brain and a spine that cracks.

Ho, ho ho! Who wouldn�t go?

Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn�t go?

Up on the housetop, snack, snack, snack!

Down through the chimney with Santa�s back!

THE ZOMBIE CHRISTMAS SONG

Sing to the tune of �The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)�

Fresh brains roasting on an open fire,

Zombies chewing off your nose�

It all began when they ate the whole choir.

They�re even eating Eskimos.

Everybody knows a leg bone and someone�s toes

Make a Zombie�s season bright.

Tiny tots, with their eyes in a bowl,

Will find it hard to see tonight!

We know Zombie Santa�s on his way;

He�s eaten lots of boys and girls in his sleigh,

And every mother�s child is going to spy

To see if Zombie reindeer really know how to fly.

And so I�m running to get out of here

Before the Zombies eat me too.

Although it�s been said about the Undead,

If you don�t run, they will feast on you.

UNDEAD CHRISTMAS

Sung to the tune of �Blue Christmas�

I�ll have an undead Christmas without you.

I�ll be so undead, and not thinking about you.

Hanging lots of red brains on a green Christmas tree

Won�t mean a thing if you�re not undead with me.

I�ll have an undead Christmas, that�s certain.

And when that Zombie bites me, I�m hurtin�.

You�ll be running all night, from every Zombie in sight,

And I�ll have an undead, undead Christmas.

IT�S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE ZOMBIES

Sung to the tune of �It�s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas�

It�s beginning to look a lot like Zombies

Everywhere you go.

They�re in the five and ten, eating brains once again,

Faces smeared with blood and all aglow!

It�s beginning to look a lot like Zombies!

They�re in every store!

But the scariest sight to see is the Zombies that will be

At your own front door.

There�s no need for boots, or a pistol that shoots,

Just the brains of Barney and Ben.

Zombies will stalk when you go for your walk,

And they�ll eat Janice and Jen.

And Mom and Dad, already turned, are eating brains again.

It�s beginning to look a lot like Zombies

Everywhere you go.

They�ve stormed the Grand Hotel, and filled the park as well.

They�re hungry and they sure don�t mind the snow!

It�s beginning to look a lot like Zombies!

Blood splattered on the floor!

But the scariest sight to see is the Zombies that will be

At your own front door!

NOTHING LIKE BRAINS FOR THE HOLIDAYS

Sung to the tune of �There�s No Place Like Home for the Holidays�

Oh there�s nothing like brains for the holidays!

No matter how far away you roam,

When you�re hungry for the taste

Of someone else�s face,

For the holidays, you can�t beat

Brains, sweet brains!

I ate a man who lived in Tennessee,

And he was headed for Pennsylvania,

To go eat his mother�s eye.

From Pennsylvania folks are traveling down

To Dixie�s sunny shore.

From Atlantic to Pacific, gee!

The cerebrum tastes terrific!

Oh there�s nothing like brains

For the holidays! �Cause no matter

How much your own mouth foams,

If you want to be happy in a million ways,

For the holidays, you can�t beat

Brains, sweet brains.

ZOMBIE WONDERLAND

Sung to the tune of �Winter Wonderland�

Undead moan, are you listening?

In the lane, blood is glistening.

A horrible sight,

We�re screaming tonight,

Runnin� through a Zombie wonderland.

Already turned, is our neighbor!

Zombies here, I belabor.

They moan their own song,

As we scream along,

Sprintin� through a Zombie wonderland.

In the meadow, we can beg for mercy.

They�ve already eaten Parson Brown.

They�ll come for us next,

And we�ll say, �No man!�

We�re getting� the hell

Out of this town.

Later on, we�ll perspire,

As we scream, by the fire.

I�ll say we�re afraid

Of the Zombies they�ve made,

Runnin� through a Zombie wonderland.

GOOD KING WENCESLAS TASTES GREAT

Sung to the tune of �Good King Wenceslas�

Good King Wenceslas tastes great;

We might as well eat Stephen,

When the brains lay round about,

Toasted crisp and bleedin�.

Brightly shown the moon that night,

Though the virus cruel.

When a poor man came in sight,

He made fine undead fuel.

Hither, Zombies chase after her.

Agnes, she is yelling.

Yonder peasant, how she screams,

For her brains they�re a-jelling.

Surely she will try to hide

Underneath the mountain,

Or deep in the forest hence

While Agnes is digestin�.

Bring me flesh, and bring me brains.

Bring me Zombies hither.

Thou and I will see them dine;

They even bite through leather.

Free and screaming, forth they went,

Zombies right behind them,

Through the poor souls� wild lament.

Bitter brains are better.

HERE COMES ZOMBIE CLAUS

Sung to the tune of �Here Comes Santa Claus�

Here comes Zombie Claus, here comes Zombie Claus,

Right down Zombie Claus Lane!

Vixen and Blitzen and his undead reindeer

are eating all the brains.

Bells are ringing, children screaming;

All is bloody and bright.

Load your shotgun and say your prayers,

�Cause Zombie Claus comes tonight.

Here comes Zombie Claus, here comes Zombie Claus,

Right down Zombie Claus Lane!

He�s got a bag that is filled with brains,

And we don�t know where he�s been.

Hear those sleigh bells jingle-jangle.

What a horrible night.

Jump in bed, hold onto your head,

�Cause Zombie Claus comes tonight.

Here comes Zombie Claus, here comes Zombie Claus,

Right down Zombie Claus lane.

He doesn�t care if you�re rich or poor;

He�ll eat you just the same.

Zombie Claus knows we�re all just protein;

That makes everything right.

So fill your shotgun up with shells

�Cause Zombie Claus comes tonight!

Here comes Zombie Claus, here comes Zombie Claus,

Right down Zombie Claus Lane!

He�ll come around when the screams ring out

That there�re fresh brains again.

Zombie virus will come to all

If we just cower in fright.

So let�s give thanks to Smith and Wesson,

�Cause Zombie Claus comes tonight!

SLAY RIDE

Sung to the tune of �Sleigh Ride�

Chorus I

Just hear those fresh brains jingling,

And nostrils running with goo.

Come on, it�s lovely weather

To go flesh-eating together with you.

Chorus II

Outside the bodies are falling

And Zombies are calling �woo-hoo.�

Come on, it�s lovely weather

To go flesh-eating together with you.

Take a bite, take a bite, take a bite, let�s go.

Here�s a leg with a shoe,

We�re riding in a wonderland of ooze.

Take a chomp, take a chomp, take a chomp, it�s grand;

An ear�s in my hand.

We�re gliding along with a song

Of a Zombie wonderland.

Their cheeks are nice and tasty,

And brains are basting you see.

We�re snuggled up together

Like two flesh-eaters would be.

Let�s take that road before us

And eat a chorus or two.

Come on, it�s lovely weather

To go flesh-eating together with you.

There�s a Zombie party at the home of Farmer Gray.

His brain�ll be the perfect ending of a perfect day;

We�ll be eating the parts we love to eat without a single stop

At the fireplace while we watch the eyeballs pop.

Pop! Pop! Pop!

There�s a happy feeling nothing in the world can buy

When they pass around a femur and somebody�s eye�

It�ll be just like a picture print by undead Currier and Ives.

These wonderful brains are the brains

We�ll be eating all through our lives!

Chorus I & II

It�s lovely weather to go flesh-eating together with you.

It�s lovely weather to go flesh-eating together with you.

DECK THE HALLS WITH PARTS OF WALLY

Sung to the tune of �Deck the Halls with Boughs of Holly�

Deck the halls with parts of Wally,

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

�Tis the season for brains by golly,

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Chew we now our friend�s gray matter,

Fa la la, fa la la, la la la.

Wear old clothes �cause fresh brains splatter,

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

See the blazing town before us,

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Let�s go in and eat the chorus,

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Follow me, we eat with leisure,

Fa la la, fa la la, la la la.

A fresh brain for our Yuletide pleasure.

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

ZOMBIE, THE SNOWMAN

Sung to the tune of �Frosty, the Snowman�

Zombie the Snowman was a jolly, happy ghoul,

With a corncob pipe and some boy�s nose

And two eyes he got at school.

Zombie the Snowman is a fairy tale, they say;

He was undead, it�s so,

But the children know how he came back to life one day.

There must have been a virus in

That old silk hat they found,

For when they placed it on his head,

He began to dance around.

Oh, Zombie the Snowman was alive as he could be,

And the children say he ate brains all day,

And they ran from that Zombie.

Chorus

Thumpety thump thump,

Thumpety thump thump,

Look at Zombie go.

Thumpety thump thump,

Thumpety thump thump,

Over the hills of snow.

Zombie the Snowman knew the brains were fresh that day,

So he said, �Please run, because it�s lots more fun when I eat your brain that way.�

Down through the village with a femur in his hand,

Running here and there all around the square,

Sayin�, �Decapitate me if you can!�

He chased them through the streets of town

And ate the traffic cop,

And he barely paused a moment when he heard the cop�s brain pop!

Zombie the Snowman

Had to hurry on his way,

But he waved good-bye, sayin�, �Please do cry,

I�ll eat your brains someday!�

Chorus

HERE WE COME A-GARROTING

Sung to the tune of �Here We Come A-Caroling�

Here we come a-garroting,

Among the brains that bleed.

Here we come a-Zombie-ing,

Undead to be seen.

Chorus

We have come to eat you,

With a Zombie virus, too.

And God bless you as I rip off your ear,

And God bless you as I rip off your ear.

We are not your normal Zombies

Who roam from door to door,

But we were friendly neighbors,

Whom you have seen before.

Chorus

Let�s eat the master of this house,

And eat the mistress too,

And all the little children,

Let�s eat them through and through.

Chorus

And all your kin and kinfolk

That dwell both far and near,

We wish they were still living,

But they are gone we fear.

Chorus

ZOMBIE YELLS

Sung to the tune of �Jingle Bells�

Bleeding from the nose,

There�s one horse left to slay,

O�er the fields we go,

Feasting all the way.

Bells on bobtails ring,

Make undead spirits bright.

What fun it is to chew and sing

An eating song tonight!

Oh, Zombie yells, Zombie yells,

Howling all the way.

Oh, what fun it is to ride

In an undead open sleigh!

Zombie yells, Zombie yells,

Chomping all the way.

Oh, what fun it is to ride

In an undead open sleigh!

A day or two ago,

I got a Zombie bite,

And soon Miss Fanny Bright�

I was chewing on her side.

The horse was lean and stank,

But horse brains are our lot.

We got into a drifted bank

And the horse he was upsot.

Oh, Zombie yells, Zombie yells,

Howling all the way!

Oh, what fun it is to ride

In an undead horsey sleigh!

Zombie yells, Zombie yells,

Chomping all the way.

Oh, what fun it is to ride

In an undead horsey sleigh, yeah!

SILVER BRAINS

Sung to the tune of �Silver Bells�

City sidewalks, busy sidewalks,

Simply teeming with brains!

In the air

There�s a new

Zombie virus.

Undead laughing,

Brains they�re passing,

Eating mile after mile,

And on ev�ry street corner you�ll hear:

Silver brains! Silver brains!

It�s undead party time in the city.

Do our thing! Hear them scream!

The Zombie will carry the day!

All the streetlights,

Even stoplights,

No longer blink red and green

As the shoppers become barricaders!

Hear the bones crunch,

See the kids munch,

Even on Santa we feed.

And above all the gristle

You�ll hear:

Let�s eat brains, silver brains!

It�s undead party time in the city.

Do our thing, hear them scream!

Soon it will be Christmas Day.

GRANDMA GOT TURNED INTO A ZOMBIE

Sung to the tune of �Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer�

Chorus

Grandma got turned into a Zombie,

Walking home from our house Christmas Eve.

You can say there�s no such thing as Undead.

But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

She�d been drinkin� too much eggnog,

And we�d begged her not to go.

But she ignored our Zombie warnings,

And she staggered out the door into the snow.

When we found her Christmas mornin�

At the scene of the attack,

She was missing part of her forehead,

And incriminatin� undead marks were on her back.

Chorus

Now we�re all so proud of Grandpa.

He�s been takin� this so well;

See him in there with a sharp machete,

Drinkin� beer and loadin� his shotgun up with shells.

It�s not Christmas without Grandma;

All the family waits for her attack,

And we just can�t help but wonder:

Should we decapitate her with a whack?

Chorus

Now Grandma�s out there clawing at the window,

And Grandpa, he doesn�t give a fig.

He will take his sharp machete,

And chop right down through Grandma�s blue-haired wig.

I�ve warned all my friends and neighbors,

Better stock up your pantry shelves.

The Undead surely are a menace,

And some of them look like their former selves.

Chorus

WE WISH YOU AN UNDEAD CHRISTMAS

Sung to the tune of �We Wish You a Merry Christmas�

Chorus

We wish you an undead Christmas;

We wish you an undead Christmas;

We wish you an undead Christmas while we chew off your ear.

Zombie virus we bring to you and your kin;

We�ll eat brains for Christmas and through the New Year.

Oh, bring us a hippocampus;

Oh, bring us a hippocampus;

Oh, bring us a hippocampus and a cup of root beer.

We won�t go until we eat you;

We won�t go until we eat you;

We won�t go until we eat you, so come on out here.

Chorus

SMASH THEIR HEADS WITH A ROCK

Sung to the tune of �Jingle Bell Rock�

Zombies yell, Undead smell, heads smashed with rocks,

Human guts swing, and hear them all scream,

Snarling and growling as the humans all run�

Now the Zombie hop has begun.

Zombies yell, undead smell, heads smashed with rocks,

Jingle bells chime in Zombie hell time.

Dancing and prancing, Zombies beware;

They�re in the frosty air.

What a virus! It�s inside us.

They�ll eat our brains all day.

Virus time is a swell time

To get the hell out of here any old way.

Giddy-up jingle horse, pick up your feet,

Zombies are on our block.

Mix and a-mingle with their shuffling feet.

Here the Zombies yell,

We�re in undead hell.

Smash their heads with a rock!

RUDOLPH, THE ZOMBIE REINDEER

Sung to the tune of �Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer�

He ate Dasher, then Dancer,

Then Prancer and Vixen.

He downed Comet and Cupid

And Donner and Blitzen.

Yes, he ate them all, the most

Famous undead reindeer of all:

Rudolph, the Zombie reindeer,

Caught the virus through his nose.

And if you ever saw him,

You would even say he�s gross.

All of the other reindeer

Tried real hard to get away.

But they didn�t count on Rudolph

Eating them anyway.

Then one foggy Christmas Eve,

Santa came to say:

�Rudolph, with your Zombie blight,

Who�s gonna pull my sleigh tonight?�

Rudolph instead just ate him,

Munching Santa�s brain with glee,

Rudolph, the Zombie reindeer,

You changed Christmas history!