Most people assume they know what �kindness� and �adaptability� mean. But those who travel among the stars must be prepared to learn new definitions�
Morgan arrived at her office late and found her communit blinking furiously. She picked it up, to be confronted on screen by Commander Prescott�s scowling visage.
�Where the hell have you been, Farraday? I�ve been calling you since eight thirty! SEF doesn�t keep bankers� hours, you know. When you took this job�.�
Morgan turned away from the viewer and rolled her eyes at Nils, her secretary. Commander Prescott knew perfectly well that she had been up half the night at a diplomatic reception�a function
�Farraday, are you listening? I can�t see you on my viz.�
Morgan detected a note of real urgency, composed her face to respectful attention and turned back to the screen. �Yes, Sir. What can I do for you?�
Morgan�s present Space Corps assignment, after almost twenty years of teaching on various planets, was supposed to be a sinecure: a personnel director�s post on Elyria, one of the most civilized of Space Exploratory Force�s worlds. She had done her stints in jungles and deserts and airless asteroids, and with retirement within sight she had been more than willing to settle for the comfort and safety of a desk job.
She hadn�t bargained for Commander Prescott, her immediate superior. Or for the boredom of reports and the budget problems, for the placating of parents and officials and the smiling, endlessly smiling, at receptions.
At least, Prescott disliked fawning and evasiveness as much as she did. Whatever his bad news, he would deliver it unembellished. He continued to scowl. �We need a teacher, in a hurry, for a special assignment. Who can you spare?�
How typical: no warning, no explanation. �Why, no one, at the moment,� Morgan said evenly. �Everyone in my region is at a school. With that flu in the archipelago, I don�t even have a substitute pool.�
�You�ve got to double up, then. Pull someone out.� He waved a helex flimsy. �This is from headquarters, and it�s not a request, it�s an order.�
Morgan did a quick mental survey, frowned and shook her head. �Can�t they get someone from North Continent? We�re really shorthanded here.�
�No!� Prescott�s face grew a shade redder. �There�s no time�it�s got to be us. The
�Here�read it yourself.� A copy of the message appeared on Morgan�s screen, and she scanned it quickly.
The children, she learned, were survivors of a small, isolated Salassan colony that had been wiped out by a viral plague. With prompt treatment the epidemic needn�t have been fatal, but the
Salassa was not a SEF world. Its name, in the Finn language of its discoverer, meant �secret.� Morgan knew little about it�no one did�since the Salassans had not welcomed Captain Haapala�s visits, or any since by Space Exploratory Force�s starships. They traded solely within their own network of colonies, and only the untimely lack of any nearby Salassan vessels had forced them to accept the
�Well?� The commander allowed Morgan little time for reflection. �Who�s it going to be? As you can see, we�ve got to act fast.�
Morgan took a deep breath.
Prescott�s jaw dropped. �You?�
�Why not? It�s the logical solution. I�m here and I can be ready in time, which might not be possible for someone with a classroom of kids. More important, the Elyrians can�t object the way they would if I deprived them of an acting teacher. And I
�I�d only be gone six weeks,� she continued, forestalling further objections. �Nils can handle the routine office work, and anything else, well, the two of you together��
�Stop right there�I�m not taking on your job!� the commander sputtered.
�Think about it,� Morgan said. �I�ll be at your office in ten minutes.� She switched off her set and motioned for Nils to follow her out.
Commander Prescott�s office was at the far end of the block-long SEF building, but Morgan did not hurry to confront him. Once he had time to cool off and assess the situation, he would see that she was right.
Nils agreed. �He�ll come around,� he said as they walked. �And don�t worry about the reports�I�ll see that they get out.� He made a mock solemn face. �I�ll miss you, though. Maybe you�ll� maybe I�ll look better to you when you get back.�
Morgan laughed. Nils knew perfectly well how attractive he was to most women, with his arresting combination of blond hair and brown skin, and that it wasn�t his appearance that made her keep their relationship strictly business. Nils was barely twenty�a mere child in Morgan�s estimation. She was forty-two, though due to an inadvertent rejuvenation when she had been wounded on her last assignment and spent time in a regen tank, she looked considerably younger. She had found the erasing of age traces not an unalloyed blessing. Nils�s puppyish advances were no problem�she was, after all, his boss�but harder to deal with were the attitudes of her own superiors, who tended to believe the evidence of their eyes rather than the service emblems on her sleeve.
Morgan wore her brown hair in a neat bun and eschewed makeup, but still she knew that she appeared far from a seasoned professional. Commander Prescott treated her with none of the respect due her position, and at last night�s reception the governor had excluded her from all serious conversation while he had listened at length to her junior counterpart from North Continent.
�I�m glad someone will miss me,� Morgan said. A sudden new worry surfaced; one that she realized she should have considered before volunteering so precipitously. �What if you�re the only one who does? Maybe this isn�t such a good idea.� If SEF found out how expendable she was�
While Nils tried to reassure her, Morgan�s second thoughts grew. Leaving for six weeks when she wasn�t firmly established definitely wasn�t a smart career move. She had acted on impulse, speaking before she thought, as she was too wont to do. Hasty actions had gotten her into trouble on more than one occasion, but she had thought she had learned her lesson.
Apparently, she hadn�t. She wouldn�t argue, she decided, if Commander Prescott refused her suggestion. She would be disappointed, sure, but it might, after all, be for the best. She entered the office with her fingers mentally crossed.
The commander greeted her with a strained smile. �You win,� he said. �Go home and start packing.�
Morgan watched through a viewport as the shuttle disappeared from sight. �You don�t know how glad I am you�re here,� Dr. Quarles said. �Once you see the children, you�ll understand. Do you want to come now?�
�Sure. Why not?� Morgan followed the older woman into a low-ceilinged corridor. Perhaps she wasn�t really older, Morgan corrected herself. Regina Quarles might be close to Morgan�s age, but the years in space had not been kind to her. Her short, bristle-cut hair was peppered with gray, her body was thickened at the waist and her mahogany-colored skin had the leathery look of too many years spent on outposts under unfriendly suns.
�I didn�t expect to find you here,� Morgan said. �I thought� the order from SEF said��
�I�m not supposed to be here,� the doctor said. �I�m expected on Elyria�I should have taken that shuttle�and there�ll be hell to pay when I don�t show up. But I couldn�t leave the children.
�No, not even with you here,� she said in answer to Morgan�s unspoken question. �They�ll need both of us. You�ll see.�
�You�ve had sole charge of them?� Morgan asked. �Since leaving the colony, I mean?�
�Since we found them,� the woman said. �They�re orphans, you know. Everyone else in the colony was dead. Had been for at least a week. God knows how the children survived. The oldest can�t be more than eight years old, and the youngest is scarcely more than a baby.�
�Dr. Quarles��
�Please, call me Regina.�
�Regina. And I�m Morgan.� They shook hands for the second time, establishing a basis of informality. �Are you the only medical person on board?�
�The only extra-crew person. We didn�t know what we were going to find when we received the SOS, only that we had to deliver the serum fast. The
Morgan nodded. The
�I did the best I could,� the doctor continued. �But I needed help. You�ll see what I mean. The Salassans kept sending orders to get the kids back to their planet ASAP. They didn�t even want the ship to stop long enough to take you on, but I made enough noise to SEF that they had to agree.�
Morgan supposed she ought to be grateful that the doctor had a loud voice, but all those oblique warnings about the children� She was more curious, though, than worried. She had taught a variety of aliens, not all of them pleasant, and the Salassans were reportedly humanoid at least in appearance.
The corridor narrowed. It was dimly lit, but even so Morgan could see corroded spots on the walls and cracked floor-plates. The air was thin, and had an unpleasant, metallic smell. �It�s an old tub,� Regina said with a frown. �But it�s got a hyperdrive, and that�s all that matters to the Salassans. We could have waited for more suitable transport, but like I said, they�re crazy to get the children home.
�Here, they�re in this cargo hold. It�s the only space they had.�
Morgan entered a windowless, enclosed bay. It contained six cots arranged in two rows, but the children were all huddled together on the farthest one. A bearded crewman sat on the cot closest to the entrance, absorbed in his hand-held electronic game. He sprang to his feet as soon as Morgan and Regina entered, and sidled toward the door.
�Is everything all right?� Regina asked.
The man shrugged without glancing at the children.
�OK, thanks,� Regina said. As soon as he left, she vented her disgust. �Totally useless. You�d think he was afraid of the poor things. I�ve explained until I�m blue in the face that they�re not carriers�they�ve gone through decon and I�ve done every test�but it�s like talking to the wind.� She approached the silent children without hesitation. �So�I wasn�t gone long, was I?� she crooned. �And I�ve brought you another friend.�
She held out her arms, and the smallest figure detached itself from the others and ran to her.
�She�s my special darling,� Regina said, picking up the child. She patted several others on their lumpy, bald heads. �Go ahead, talk to them.�
�Do you have a voder?� Morgan asked. The big-eyed children stared so blankly, she doubted that they understood Terran words.
Regina unclipped a small, square box from her waist and handed it to Morgan. �It�s keyed in to level one Salassan, which is as much as we have of the language, but I haven�t been using it lately. It doesn�t seem to help.�
Morgan understood why when she spoke into the voder. The impersonal voice that translated her greetings seemed to have no effect on the children: they stared as blankly as before.
The young Salassans, dressed in cut-down ship jumpsuits that hung in tent-like folds on their diminutive frames, sat cross-legged, shoulder-to-shoulder, as still as statues. Their skin was a mottled gray, completely hairless, their faces were flat, and except for their eyes, almost featureless. With lipless slits for mouths and the merest suggestion of noses and ears, they had the unsettling appearance of clay figures that were not quite finished.
They were both right, Morgan decided. Little as she knew about Salassans, the frozen behavior of the youngsters couldn�t possibly be normal. Only the child in Regina�s arms exhibited any signs of liveliness, and she turned her attention to it.
�You see, she�s different already,� Regina said. �All I�ve been giving her is a good dose of TLC, and she�s been blossoming like a little flower. I call her my Daisy.�
Daisy, who though tinier, looked about the equivalent of a human two-year-old, indeed appeared markedly different from the others. Her mouth curved in what might almost be a smile, and her cheeks were slightly rounded. As Morgan peered closer, she saw that a thin fuzz was even growing on her skull.
�Yesterday she made a sound,� Regina said. �I�m going to keep her with me as much as I can, and see if she repeats it.�
�None of the others talk?�
�Not a word�not even when they�re alone. It�s the shock, I�m sure. They hardly eat, either. I�d call it marasmus in humans, and prescribe affection and physical closeness. None of the regular crew will help, which is why I needed someone like you so badly. Though I wish� no offense, Morgan, but I was hoping for someone older. More of a grandmotherly type.�
Morgan made a wry face. �I�m sorry you�re disappointed, but I really am older than I look.�
�You�ve had a rejuv treatment?�
�Quite by accident. A side effect. I lost an arm a year ago, on Midia. I was in a regen tank.� She held out her arms. The left one, while perfectly formed, was two inches shorter than the other.
Regina whistled. �What happened? I�ve never seen that kind of a result before.�
�A parting gift from the Midians. I suspect they diluted the fluid in the tank during the last weeks. They thought I was subverting their educational policies.�
�And were you?�
�Yes. But if you�d been there��
�Hey, you don�t have to explain yourself to me. I�ve broken enough rules myself over the course of my checkered career. And I�m doing it again right now.� Still holding Daisy, she drew another child to her. �Someone will be screaming to high heaven when they find out, but I don�t give a damn!�
�Because you stayed with the children instead of getting off at Elyria? That doesn�t seem to me so awful.�
�No, I mean this.� She cuddled Daisy against her shoulder, then reached down to stroke the cheek of the other child. �The Salassans were very particular in their instructions. We were to have only minimal contact with the children. See that they�re fed and clean, and that�s all.�
�That sounds awfully coldhearted. But� the Salassans
�I can see that you don�t approve,� Regina said. �That�s why I wanted an older person. Someone who might have a bit of compassion.�
�I do, and I sympathize with you,� Morgan protested. �It�s just that� I can�t afford another black mark on my file.�
�And that�s more important than the welfare of the children?�
At Regina�s angry tone, the small figures on the cot shrank even farther against the wall. The child at her side tried to pull away.
�There�see what you�ve done.� The doctor turned to reassure her charges, then waved a dismissal at Morgan. �If you�re not going to help me�go on, then. Take a tour of the ship. Find yourself a place to bunk. Just don�t get in my way here.�
Morgan didn�t move. �But I
�Keep them fed and clean,� Regina said bitterly. She checked her watch. �Sure, you can get their rations from the galley. Such as they are.�
Morgan was glad to escape. She took the same corridor, which dead-ended at the engine room. Backtracking, she blundered into an off-duty crew quarters where, over the noise of her enthusiastic reception, she received directions to the galley.
Refusing all offers for a personal guide, she made her way slowly down an even narrower passage, grasping handrails for support when the ship shuddered beneath her feet. They must be preparing to leave orbit, she thought. �A great start, Farraday,� she muttered to herself. She�d already made an enemy of Regina, and unless she changed her mind and decided to cooperate with her, it looked like three weeks of warfare.
The worst of it was, she agreed in principle with the woman. Those poor, catatonic children! After what they had seen and experienced, it would be inhuman to remain at a distance.
But they
But then, neither was Regina Quarles.
Morgan decided nothing except that this time she would consider carefully before she did anything to compromise herself. She smelled the galley�scorched soy disguised by too much spice�and surprised the cook, a huge man with a pendulous belly, tippling from a flask.
He replaced it hastily in a back pocket. �You must be the teacher. Though what you can do for them kids�� He shook his Mohawk-shaven head. �A bunch of zombies, that�s what they are. You can�t teach them nothin�.�
�Probably not,� Morgan said. �For now, though, I just want their lunches. What is it they eat?�
He snorted as he pulled a bag from a shelf. �Dried grubs and seeds and raw krupa nuts.� He set six bowls on a tray. �Just pour it in. No mixing, no cooking. They�ll drink a little water, too.� He snorted again. �That�s their diet.�
�It� doesn�t seem very appetizing,� Morgan said. �Are you sure it�s nutritious?�
�According to their head honcho on Salassa, it�s all they need.�
The cook didn�t sound convinced, and Morgan wondered, too, as she traversed the corridor with her tray, why the children were to be kept on what must be a barely subsistence diet. When she returned to their quarters and saw how little they ate, and how listlessly, she felt a new rush of pity. The older children fed themselves, but Regina, with Daisy on her lap, offered her special charge food from her own fingers. Morgan couldn�t help noticing that Daisy ate twice as much as any of the other children.
The young Salassans looked so thin, surely, they were malnourished. One, only slightly larger than Daisy, swallowed barely a mouthful before putting down its bowl and staring at Morgan with dull eyes.
�Here, you�ve got to do better than that,� Morgan said. Imitating Regina, she attempted to feed the child from her fingers, but the pellets of food dribbled from its uncooperative mouth.
�It only works if you hold them,� Regina said. �Like I�m doing.�
Morgan shot her a suspicious glance, but the doctor, still absorbed with Daisy, seemed innocent of any subterfuge. We
�Here now, Sweetie, try a little of this,� Morgan crooned. It was her tone that mattered, she guessed, and she didn�t turn on the tinny-voiced voder.
Like a bird, too, the child opened its mouth and allowed Morgan to feed it. Morgan alternated the dried mix with water, and the child drank, slowly at first and then thirstily. She finished her bowl of food (Morgan didn�t know the child�s sex, but somehow she had started to think of her as female) and then curled herself against Morgan�s chest and closed her eyes. She gave off a soft warmth and a faint, pleasant odor.
It was probably her first adequate meal in weeks, Morgan thought. She turned accusingly to Regina. �This child was starving and dehydrated. Didn�t you know?�
Regina sighed. �They all are�or were.� She nodded at Daisy and at the figure curled in Morgan�s lap. �This is all that seems to work.�
Morgan looked at the other silent, motionless children, at their bowls of barely-touched food. �Then why haven�t you�� She remembered the prohibition and thought she understood. �You were afraid of repercussions?�
�No, it�s not that,� Regina said. �I�d have fed them all, one at a time, if I could. But the others won�t let me. It�s got something to do with Daisy, I think. Apparently I�m
A pheromone, Morgan thought. She looked down at the warm bundle in her lap. Was she marked, too?
When she displaced the sleeping child and attempted, with no success, to lap-feed the others, she guessed that she had, indeed, absorbed something that made them resist her. The sleeping one stirred and tried to crawl back to Morgan, and the impulse to pick her up again was almost overwhelming.
The pheromone was affecting her, too, Moigan thought. She fought against it, forced herself to think, �minimal contact,� and rose to her feet. She glared at Regina. �You tricked me.�
The doctor was unrepentant. �So? Was it so awful? At least that�s one more child that won�t starve. If I could, I�d get someone to do the same for all of them.�
�And the Salassans�I gather they don�t know what you�re doing?�
�I certainly haven�t told them. And once we�re in hyperspace, there�ll be no more helexes. We�ll be on our own.�
Morgan looked from Regina to the children, her gaze lingering on the sleeping one. Already, it seemed to her, the child had a better color.
Regina was right�she had no reason to reproach herself. And the Salassans couldn�t fault her, either, for simply seeing that one of their youngsters had enough to eat.
The doctor was clearly exceeding her duty, though, in her hands-on fostering of Daisy. Morgan watched worriedly as the other woman paced the small room carrying the child, petting her and murmuring endearments and even singing in a tuneless warble.
�Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do.�
Daisy wiggled in Regina�s arms and made a chirping sound, and Regina exclaimed in delight.
�She said it�she said her name! Did you hear?�
The child repeated something that sounded vaguely like �Daisy.� She waved her tiny arms and laughed, and Morgan couldn�t help but share some of Regina�s jubilation.
However, there were considerations that Regina seemed to have overlooked. �If she�s going to start talking,� Morgan cautioned, �shouldn�t she be learning Salassari?� She began to unfasten the voder from her belt.
Regina waved it away. �No, I don�t want it,� she said. �It�s too� impersonal. Daisy is responding to
Daisy babbled some more, and Regina�s ecstatic expression convinced Morgan that further argument was useless. She gathered up the bowls to return them to the galley, but was interrupted by a knock at the door.
It was the crewman from the airlock, the one whose muscular bare arms were covered with a mosaic of deathheads, writhing snakes and dagger-pierced hearts.
He offered a calloused hand. �Zed. Remember me?�
�Yes, of course.� With some difficulty, Morgan pulled her hand free.
Regina came over, with Daisy. �To what do we owe this pleasure? Have you changed your mind about helping us out with the children?�
�Uh, no.� Zed backed up awkwardly. �Though the� the kid does look a lot better.�
�They all would,� Regina said. �If only you�d��
�Hey, lay off, will ya?� Zed retreated to the doorway. �Now, maybe if
Morgan was temporarily at a loss for words.
�Hey, I�ll drop in later,� Zed said. �Now, I just came by to let you guys know that we�ll be shifting into hyperspace in ten minutes or so. Better be sitting down. And�you know�have some slop buckets handy for the kids.�
�We know what to expect,� Regina said. �Thanks.�
Zed left, and the two women prepared their charges as best they could for the hypershift. There was always a minute or two of disorientation, and sometimes nausea, Morgan knew, but Regina declared that the children had hardly noticed it before.
Morgan rode out the shift with nothing worse than a moment of dizziness. The children appeared unaffected, except for Daisy, who threw up copiously all over Regina.
The doctor took her away to clean them both up.
�So, I guess you kids are on your way home now,� Morgan said to the remaining five. She knew they didn�t understand her, and she doubted that they even heard. They had shifted position and now leaned against one another in a lethargic, back-to-back circle, all except the one Morgan had fed. That one, whose skin definitely looked healthier, awoke from her nap and reached out beseeching arms.
Morgan stepped back. �Oh, no-sorry. I�m not going to do it.� Her own arms ached to pick up the child, but she folded them and moved across the room.
The child slid from the cot and walked stumblingly toward her. After a few steps, she fell.
God, what had she gotten into, Morgan thought as she picked up the small, light figure and returned her to the cot. She fit her into the circle and she remained there, as silent as the others, but with human-like tears trickling down her face.
Morgan mopped angrily at her own eyes. Damn the Salassans�what did they expect, anyway�that she should be made of stone? Damn Dr. Quarles and Commander Prescott and most of all, damn herself for volunteering! She knew how it would end, with her instincts overcoming her scruples, with another reprimand and her last chance of promotion quashed. Yes, she knew herself too well, but nevertheless she vowed to hold off as long as possible.
She held off for two days. She continued to lap-feed Anna (the child had to be called something, didn�t she? So what if it had been Morgan�s mother�s name�it was just a convenient handle), and each time it was a wrenching struggle to put her down. Anna cried silent tears and trailed after Morgan on spindly, unsteady legs, and Morgan�s discouraging frowns and reprimands pained her more than the child.
The worst of it was, Morgan had nowhere to go to escape. Socializing with the crew was both awkward and unwise. They had been three months in space, with no port leave, and Morgan knew that her most prudent course was to stay out of sight as much as possible.
In the bay, Regina spent most of her time with Daisy, and the other children required little attention. They slept for ever longer periods during the day, and when Regina darkened the room for evening they never once awakened from a comalike slumber in which they scarcely seemed to be breathing.
Anna and Daisy were the exceptions. Regina slept with Daisy in a cubicle next to the bay, and Morgan could hear whenever Daisy awakened with a frightened cry and Regina comforted her.
Anna awakened at times, too, during the night, and though she had not yet made a sound Morgan could sense her desperate loneliness and fear.
Morgan imagined a helpless child watching her parents sicken and die. She hadn�t asked Regina for particulars of what she had found at the colony. She hadn�t wanted to know; the condition of the children was telling enough. But now she imagined the child Anna hungry and cold and alone, crying for her mother amid horrors she couldn�t have comprehended. She imagined her retreating into shock and rescued more dead than alive by unfeeling strangers, and reaching out, now, for the healing love and comfort Morgan could give so easily.
On the first night Anna had made her way in the darkness to Morgan�s cot at the far wall. She had been crying in her silent way and trembling, but Morgan had wiped her face and carried her back to her own bed. Afterward, Morgan had lain awake for the rest of the night, hating herself.
On the second night, when Anna came again Morgan let her stay. The child curled herself into a ball against Morgan�s stomach, and the trembling stopped. Later she turned and slept with a thin arm around Morgan�s neck. Her warm breath fluttered against Morgan�s cheek like the soft beating of a bird�s wing, and Morgan put away all thoughts of angry Salassans and lost promotions.
Morgan and Regina watched with complete absorption as their two fosterlings played on the floor of the bay. The cook, Hogan, had loaned them an assortment of kitchen utensils, and Daisy crowed loudly as she banged a pot with a spoon. Anna, with one fist holding firmly to Morgan�s pants� leg, waved another spoon and chortled with laughter.
It was the second week of the journey, and Anna, while not as noisily exuberant as Daisy, had come out of her shell to what Morgan considered a remarkable degree. �Mo-ga,� she said, jerking at the pants� leg and looking up at Morgan, �Mo-ga see Anna.�
�Yes, I see you,� Morgan said. She reached down and picked up the child and hugged her. �And I think you must be the smartest little girl I�ve ever known.� She settled Anna on her lap, gave her another spoon and watched proudly while the small, nimble fingers fitted them together in a variety of ways.
�It�s true,� she said to Regina. �I�ve taught enough kids, human and otherwise, to know, and Anna�s way out ahead by a mile.
�Daisy, too,� she amended politely, though privately she thought the boisterous Daisy was not nearly as advanced as her quiet, clever Anna. The speed with which Anna had learned to talk�whole sentences, even�was a marvel. �Time to get up,� she had chirped this morning, in an almost perfect imitation of Morgan.
Daisy�s voice was gruffer, more like Regina�s throaty tone, which had a determined rasp, now, as she spoke. �I�m not giving her up, you know.�
Morgan looked at her friend in shocked surprise. It wasn�t that she hadn�t expected such an announcement, or even thought of it in relation to herself, but so soon� and Regina sounded so definite.
�She�s mine,� Regina continued. Her gaze fixed hungrily on Daisy and she lifted her chin belligerently. �She�s my child, the one I�ve always wanted.� Her voice softened. �All those years in the Med Corps, when I couldn�t have any kind of a personal life, I dreamed of a little one just like her. I�d thought, I don�t know how many times, of retiring early, giving up the space track and settling down. I had a few opportunities when I was younger, there were a few men I could have loved enough to team up with, but something always came up. I was needed somewhere, or there was a wonderful assignment I couldn�t turn down. The years just went by, and I�d given up, thought I was too old. Until now. Daisy is like a miracle; a gift I may not deserve, but that I can�t refuse. And I don�t need a partner any more; I can raise her perfectly well by myself.�
�I�m sure you can. But� what about the Salassans?� Had Regina refused to think it through, or had she become temporarily blinded by her emotions? �She�s
Regina dismissed the objection with a wave. �Daisy�s not property, she�s a
Morgan felt herself nodding. They were all arguments she had thought of herself. Regina�s description of her life in the service could have applied to Morgan Farraday as well, in almost every particular. There had been a certain officer on Parth and a mining engineer on the Centauri asteroids, but both times further adventure had beckoned and she had bade them goodbye. Always, there had been children, and it had been easy to sublimate her maternal instincts. There had been a special few�Lurrp on Parth and Leila on Hedron II�who had been almost like daughters, but when she had had to part with them she had learned not to become too attached to other people�s children.
But Anna was an orphan. Perhaps� it might just be possible. There were no rules in the SEF worlds, as far as Morgan knew, regarding inter-species adoptions. She doubted if it had come up often enough to become an issue.
Anna would fit in on any human world. She was considerably smaller than a normal human child, but now that she was gaining weight she didn�t look so much different. Her face had filled out, and she now had a nose and lips and a chin. Her skin had lost its unhealthy, mottled gray pallor and was becoming rosier every day.
Yes, she was absolutely perfect, Morgan thought, and she felt such a welling of love that tears came to her eyes.
�Mo-ga cry,� Anna said. �Anna cry too,� and the child�s eyes filled as well.
Morgan tightened her arms around the small form. No, she would never give her up. Surely, no one would expect her to.
Daisy ran to answer a rap at the door, and Hogan came in with a tray of food. �Now, isn�t that a pretty picture,� he said of Morgan and Anna. �She likes them spoons, eh?�
Daisy started to bang again on the pot. �Look at Daisy!� she shouted.
Regina shushed her and distributed the rations to the four youngsters on the cot. They received them as lethargically as always, their dull eyes showing no signs of intelligence and their sunken faces more corpselike than ever.
�They sure don�t look good,� Hogan said. He addressed Regina. �You sure you can�t do nothin� for them?�
�I told you, I can�t,� the doctor replied. �And you won�t.�
�Well�� The fat cook shifted his gaze from the sickly, gray figures to Daisy and Anna. He scratched the strip of hair on his crown. �I�d hate to see the little nippers die.�
�Then, pick one of them�any one,� Regina said.
�Are they boys or girls?�
She shrugged. �They�re pretty much anatomically neutral.�
Morgan started, wondering how she could be so mistaken. Anna, as soon as she had begun to put on flesh, had been unmistakably female. She started to say it, but Regina frowned in her direction and she remained silent.
Hogan chose the frailest one of the children, picking it up with his hamlike hands as carefully as if he feared it would shatter on contact. His first attempts to feed it were awkwardly ineffectual, but as he and the child both relaxed it went better. When the water flask and bowl were both empty, he grinned widely and did not immediately put the child down.
�I did it!� he exclaimed. �The little nipper ate it all!�
Morgan and Regina exchanged glances. She ought to warn him, Morgan thought. But then, again, why should she? Hogan didn�t look the type to become attached to a child, and even if it happened, what was the harm? The Salassans were so clearly wrong�
Hogan was still holding the child when Zed came by for one of his fruitless attempts to woo Morgan. He regarded Hogan jealously. �What�s he doin� here?�
Regina answered. �What I�ve asked you to do, many times.�
Zed looked at Morgan. She knew he would take on the feeding of a child, as a favor to her. She had held off asking him, not because she couldn�t handle the lovesick bos�n, but because she would then be every bit as guilty as Regina in the eyes of SEF and of the Salassans.
Zed waited, the three remaining children on the cot stared listlessly into their bowls, and Morgan abandoned her last scruple. �Please. Pick one�any one.�
It was the third week of the voyage. Anna had continued to flourish, and Morgan was as determined not to part with her when they reached Salassa as Regina was to keep Daisy. Anna was learning the Terran alphabet, eating regular ships� food, and she appeared so human in every important way that Morgan could scarcely associate her with the two Salassan children who still remained in their unaltered condition.
Though all Morgan�s years of experience told her that she was indulging in wishful thinking when she believed Anna more human than alien, that she knew nothing of Anna�s true biology, such reason was no match for the emotional attachment that grew stronger every day. So what, Morgan thought, if the attachment was pheromone-induced? It was as real as anything she had ever known. Cold reason had no chance at all.
In one more day they would leave hyperspace. Hogan�s small charge was in the galley with him, and Zed had taken his to inspect the engine room. Morgan and Regina watched Anna and Daisy put their rag dolls to sleep on one of the cots. Anna wore a short T-shirt top of Morgan�s that came down to her ankles. She kissed her doll good night and stepped back with her arms folded, the left cradled in the right, as Morgan so often did.
�Isn�t she a miniature version of yourself?� Regina said with a smile.
Morgan did not respond. Regina refused to be troubled by Anna�s and Daisy�s growing resemblances to their foster mothers, calling it perfectly natural. She was deluding herself, Morgan knew, but until now she had hesitated to bring her gnawing new anxiety into the open. It wasn�t surprising that Anna should imitate Morgan�s mannerisms�they were always together, and since she had come out of her catatonia the child had had no other model�but other similarities, physical ones, could not be so easily dismissed.
Daisy�s skin was no longer mottled, and it was growing darker every day. She was developing a square jaw, much like Regina�s, and her newly-grown hair was stiff and bristly and sprinkled with gray. Anna�s skin was pink, and her hair soft and brown.
�Come here, Anna,� Morgan said.
The child skipped over to the two women.
�Take a look at her arms.� Morgan bade Anna hold out her arms, and there was no mistake: the left one was noticeably shorter.
Anna climbed into Morgan�s lap. Morgan patted her a moment before she turned back to Regina. �What does it mean? Are they some kind of� chameleons?�
Regina shrugged. She was trying hard to appear unconcerned, but an unguarded, nervous glance at Daisy gave her away.
She recovered quickly. �Maybe they are. Or it could be an extreme example of bonding. Who knows? Or cares? As long as the girls are healthy and happy.�
�The Salassans might care.�
�Forget them!� Regina pointed indignantly to Daisy and Anna and then to the two gray figures huddled on the farthest cot. �Can they possibly say that we haven�t acted humanely?�
Morgan said no more, but she wasn�t convinced. They knew nothing about the Salassans; except for the children, not even their appearance. The
The report contained no photos. Regina had always claimed that the condition of the bodies she had found at the colony made any description impossible, but Morgan didn�t entirely believe her. When Daisy and Anna were napping, she opened the subject again. �I know there must have been decomposition, and the effects of the illness. But still� you must have gotten some idea of what they had looked like.�
Regina hesitated, clearly unwilling to answer. �I�ve told you before, I was only concerned with the children.�
�I understand that. But� you must have been curious. The dead ones� did they look like us?�
The doctor hesitated again.
�Well?� Morgan prompted.
�Not much,� Regina finally said.
Morgan perceived that she would have to pry out information. �Were they blank-faced, like them?� She gestured toward the far cot.
Regina sighed and made a wry face. �On the contrary, they seemed to have had rather pronounced features. And a variety of skin colors.�
�Then they looked like Anna and Daisy?�
�No, not at all. Anna and Daisy look like us. As you�ve pointed out,
Zed and Hogan came in with their little boys. Hogan�s was already developing a pot belly, and the fuzz that was appearing on his bald head was growing in a single strip. Morgan pulled up the sleeves of Zed�s charge, and she wasn�t surprised to see on his arms the faint outlines of a snake and a dagger and a skull.
The
Daisy, likewise, maintained a stranglehold on Regina�s neck. Zed and Hogan had had to leave their charges in order to attend to duties, and the two young males sat in woebegone stiffness beside their two unaltered companions. The change in the appearance of the two fostered boys, while not as great as that of Daisy and Anna, was nevertheless startlingly obvious. The Salassan helex channels hadn�t had visual, the
�They�ve docked,� said Regina as a faint shudder shook the bay. Morgan gripped Anna more tightly. Whatever the Salassans said, she would fight to her last breath to keep her child. Anna, she was sure, would be irretrievably damaged by a separation. And as for herself, her tiny lookalike was twined so securely around her heart that she could no longer imagine a life without her.
They heard footsteps approaching, and Morgan stopped breathing. The
�As you can see, we have delivered the children safely.� Captain Jaworski�s voder translated his carefully enunciated words into a cacophony of squawks and hisses. He bowed slightly to his guests. �We are, as you know, a trading ship. Whenever you are ready, I will be most happy to discuss a future business contract.�
The voder clacked away and the captain all but rubbed his hands in his eagerness, but the Salassans paid no attention to him. They stood motionless, studying the children, their brilliant eyes the only visible feature beneath their overhanging hoods. One finally spoke, and the voder translated: �It is bad. As we feared.�
They approached to observe Daisy and Anna more closely. The second Salassan spoke, in a softer tone than the first one, and with more sibilance. The voder translated: �A wrong, yes. A great sorrow.�
At least, Morgan thought, they didn�t appear angry. She breathed normally again, but maintained her fast grip on Anna.
�The children are well,� Regina said. �Better than when we found them.�
Regina�s own voder translated, and the first Salassan replied, pointing to the two unaltered children. �Those ones are well,� issued in staccato bursts from the machine. �The others must��the voder stopped, whirring while it searched��suffer reversion. We told. You should have listened.�
Regina clutched Daisy. �What do you mean, �suffer reversion�?�
�They must become��again the pause��hatchlings again. To be taken in.�
Morgan spoke her confusion. ���Hatchlings.� �Taken in.� We don�t understand.�
The Salassans conferred privately. Then the softer-voiced one pointed to the two unaltered children and hissed a word. The voder whirred again. �Hatchlings.� After another spate of Salassan, and pointing to the four other children: �A family will take in hatchlings. Many are waiting. These must� revert.�
Morgan stared, aghast, at the speaker. If she understood correctly, they meant that Anna, in order to be adopted, must become again a catatonic sort of a tadpole! Anna whimpered, and Morgan stroked the child�s soft hair and shook her head emphatically. �But
Regina added her own plea, and the voder presented them both. The Salassans listened, and without conferring spoke in unison. This time there was no difficulty with the translation. �No, it is not possible.�
Regina started to protest, but Captain Jaworski intervened. He switched off his voder. �Now don�t get them riled up. Just hand over the kids. If I�m going to make a profit out of this trip��
�Profit!� Regina glared. �How can you think about profits when you heard what they want to do? Another separation, another shock�why it could kill these little ones!�
�You shouldn�t have messed with them in the first place. And whatever you might think about their intentions�the kids aren�t yours.�
Morgan and Regina exchanged desperate glances. �Ask if we can go down with the children,� Morgan begged the captain. Perhaps someone on the planet would be more reasonable. Most of all, they needed time. She wheedled: �The longer we stay, the more chance you have to make your trade deal.�
He agreed. �But remember�you�ve got to use diplomacy. These folks haven�t wanted anything to do with us, up to now.�
Morgan couldn�t help a testy response. �You don�t have to tell me�I�ve probably been on as many alien worlds as you have. I know the rules.� Unfortunately, the main SEF rule was not to interfere with an alien culture. Somehow, without seeming to criticize, she had to generate sympathy.
The Salassans agreed to Jaworski�s request, and the party made its way to the shuttle. The Salassans carried the two children they had called hatchlings, who were too weak to walk, and Morgan and Regina shepherded the others. Anna maintained a viselike grip on Morgan�s leg, impeding her progress, but this time Morgan refused to pick her up.
Zed and Hogan were waiting at the airlock, with long faces. Captain Jaworski had to order them twice to cut short their goodbyes to their charges, and they obeyed with reluctance. When the lock irised shut, the two small boys moaned and refused to move.
The captain pulled them into the shuttle. �See what you�ve done?� he hissed at Regina.
Once inside, Morgan held Anna again. The captain strapped himself in beside them and continued to harangue Morgan about friendly relations with the Salassans. Regina, a seat ahead with Daisy, maintained a fierce, determined expression that boded ill for the captain�s diplomacy.
The Salassans, across the aisle, watched anxiously over the hatchlings and the two still sobbing changed ones. When the temperature inside the shuttle dropped, they removed their outer robes to cover the children, and Morgan at last saw their faces clearly.
She tried not to stare. The nearer Salassan had a scaly, green-mottled skin and a plume of hair of the same shade. He�or she or it�had a flat nose that spread over a third of a reptilian face. The other, whose brown, leathery skin hung in folds from a thin beak of a nose, had sunken eyes half covered by a nictitating eyelid and a dense mat of white, moss-like hair.
Morgan shifted her gaze to Anna. No, it wasn�t possible� But then, it didn�t seem possible that she had ever been like one of the hatchlings, either. Anna buried her face in Morgan�s neck, and Morgan rocked her gently. �Whatever you were, you�re mine now,� she whispered.
There was little conversation during the descent. The Salassan shuttle had no grav units, and the passengers remained in their harnesses. Captain Jaworski did calculations on his compad, the Salassans fussed over the children in their care, and Morgan and Regina held their fosterlings in steely-armed grips.
The Salassans couldn�t be without feelings, Morgan told herself. Their activities across the aisle�the hovering, the constant adjustment of harness straps, all showed a clear concern for the children�s well-being. If they truly wanted the best for all of them�
Anna awoke from a nap with an initial cry of distress, then snuggled closer to Morgan. Her fist closed on an errant lock of Morgan�s hair and she closed her eyes again, a small smile reflecting her contentment.
Morgan looked across the aisle.
The green-skinned Salassan was indeed watching, but Morgan had no clue what was going through the creature�s mind as it studied Anna�s hand and then looked down at its own webbed fingers.
Was it thinking to turn her lovely ward into a replica of itself?
They entered the atmosphere, and through the viewports the planet expanded beneath them. Once Morgan would have been wild with excitement�a new adventure, a new world. Now her concentration was all centered on Anna and the possible separation. She scarcely glanced at the bloody sun in the red sky, the jagged mountains and the barren, rocky plain below them as they circled for landing. She wondered, fleetingly, why there was no city, and why what must be a main spaceport consisted of only a few scattered hanger-like buildings around a not very large landing field.
She understood as soon as they left the shuttle. The fierce, grit-laden wind bit into her face, and she slitted her eyes against both it and the red glare. Sheltering Anna against her doubled-up body, she followed the others into a wheeled ground vehicle that drove up to the nearest building and through its open doors. An elevator took them down, vehicle and all, to the bustling underground warren that she guessed must be a population center of some importance.
Morgan�s impression was of a series of vaulted caves, filled with what looked like shops and with milling hordes of Salassans. Most resembled the brown-skinned one from the shuttle, but Morgan caught glimpses of various skin colors and facial configurations as a crowd began to gather. A gabble of clicks and squawks and hisses resolved itself into exclamations over the children, particularly Anna and Daisy.
Morgan attempted to shield Anna, and Regina, too, placed a protective hand over Daisy�s face. The exclamations grew louder, and Morgan sensed that the crowd wasn�t entirely friendly.
�Here. This way.� The two Salassans from the shuttle spoke into the captain�s voder and cleared a way for the three humans and Anna and Daisy.
The four other children were taken off in another direction. �They are well. They will have much care,� came from the voder, when Morgan looked back and expressed concern. The Salassan hurried her along.
They passed through a gate and into a connecting tunnel that contained a rail line. After a few minutes they boarded a train�a rather primitive one, Morgan thought, with hard benches in the car and no attempts at decoration. The ride, though, was quiet and smooth, and their hosts seemed solicitous of their comfort and safety, closing the car to other passengers and standing guard at the doors.
They arrived soon at what seemed to be another station or public area, this one smaller and less crowded. There was another commotion as soon as they were spotted, and their hosts led them quickly through a doorway into a private room.
Hangings in muted colors covered the walls, but the room was otherwise unfurnished. In its center, three gray-robed Salassans sat on the cushioned, circular rim of what Morgan guessed to be a conversation pit.
The green Salassan uttered a short sentence and motioned to the captain to join them. �You wished to speak trading,� the voder translated.
Captain Jaworski obeyed with alacrity. Morgan and Regina, still carrying Daisy and Anna, followed their remaining guide through an opening in the hangings into another, identical room where three more Salassans waited.
The brown one spoke into Regina�s voder. �We speak now for children.� He pointed to Regina. �You are elder? You are one who speaks?�
Apparently, the conference was to be limited to one human. Morgan felt the slight and once more silently cursed the Midians.
�Is it all right with you?� Regina asked. �I know what to say. We both feel the same, don�t we?�
Morgan nodded. �Just� don�t get them riled up,� she said, echoing the captain.
�I know. But I�m not giving in, either.�
Morgan believed her. Though she would have preferred to plead her own case, she knew that Regina would argue staunchly for both of them.
�You kindly to wait here,� the voder translated for the brown Salassan, and the creature led Morgan through another curtain into a third conference room. It left her there with Anna, and in a minute or so returned with a crying Daisy.
So she was to be the baby-sitter. Regina wouldn�t have liked Daisy�s removal either, Morgan told herself, and again banished hurt feelings. She tried to comfort Daisy, who only howled louder. On the
They needed all the help they could get. Here, on this alien world, surrounded by Anna�s birth-kind, Morgan couldn�t help but feel her claim to the child slipping away.
Daisy�s screams unfortunately prevented Morgan from hearing what was being said beyond the curtain. She paced the circular, windowless room, around and around the pit, holding Daisy, with Anna clinging to the hem of her tunic. The pit was about two feet deep, with some kind of a heat coil in the bottom. Morgan imagined Regina and the Salassans in the next room, sitting around their own pit and dangling their legs. It would be an intimate grouping, conducive to truth and straight talk. She did not expect them to be long.
Salassa was one of the most unpleasant she had seen, though she acknowledged that she had received only the briefest glimpse of it, either above ground or below. And from the way the visiting humans had been hurried and then isolated, it was the way the Salassans wanted it.
Daisy ran to her at once, and Regina refused to talk until the child was quiet in her arms.
�Well? Do we get to keep them?� Morgan could tell nothing from Regina�s tight expression. Though if she had been refused, surely she would be sputtering with anger.
�It all depends.�
�On what? Come
�On whether we want to remain on Salassa.�
Morgan gasped. �Remain
�I certainly am. The Salassans won�t allow the children to be taken away. They treasure their young, and of late they�ve had too few. If we want to adopt these two, it will have to be here on Salassa.�
Morgan shook her head in silent denial, and Regina continued. �Even that was a big concession. They�d prefer to have Daisy and Anna, along with Zed�s and Hogan�s boys, go into some kind of isolation place until they change back into hatchlings�a kind of nymph stage their young go into after hatching. Then they can be adopted, as apparently all Salassan children are. Eggs and hatchlings are kept in common incubation caves and have no identities until they�re adopted, when they assume the characteristics�survival oriented or purely ornamental�of their new parents. Greens or browns or whatever. When they reach what we consider puberty, their appearance is set. Until then they can still revert, to save energy in times of trouble, like the children we found on the colony. A shock will do it�like being separated from us.�
�But� it�ll hurt them dreadfully, won�t it?�
�Of course it will. That�s why we weren�t supposed to bond with the children. It�ll hurt us, too, even more. That�s why they said we could stay, if we want to make our home on Sa-lassa.�
�And you�ve decided to do it?� Morgan understood why her friend looked so� resigned.
�Yes. I can�t leave Daisy.�
Morgan was silent for a long moment. �Do they want me to decide now?�
�In the next few minutes. If you decide to go, they want you off right away.
�And if you stay�it�s forever. No visits offworld, ever.�
�It�s impossible!� Morgan had never felt so pressured or so tom. �How can they? Regina, how could you make such a decision? We know nothing about this planet. Is it all like this�all underground?� Morgan had a phobic horror of living like a mole. It had been bad enough on the Centauri asteroids, in domes and tunnels and pressure suits, but there at least she had been with her own people. To give up all of humanity�
That, or to give up Anna.
�There are places,� Regina answered, �where they still live above ground. Something they call the big swamp, and another area near what I gathered to be the northern ice cap.�
Morgan brightened. �The climate conditions are better?�
�No, at least not according to R�th and M�rll.� Regina grimaced as she stumbled over the Salassan names. �They said it�s worse, but the inhabitants are hardier. I don�t think we�d want to live in either place.�
Morgan stared at Regina. Why had it been so easy for her? �So you�re willing to� give up everything you�ve known.�
�I�ll have Daisy.�
Yes, and perhaps it was enough. Morgan picked up Anna, and the wash of tenderness that came over her whenever she held the child was almost enough to convince her, too.
Almost. But then she thought of their lives on the planet, of Anna growing up with Salassan children, one of them yet forever a curiosity. She wondered if Regina had considered all the implications for Daisy. �Won�t it be hard for her, looking so different?� she asked.
Regina shrugged. �I suppose so, in a way. But she�ll have me. And if you decide��
Again, the pressure. �You mustn�t depend on me!� Morgan cried.
�I�m not.� Regina kept her face expressionless. �I�ve made my decision, regardless of whether or not you stay.�
Morgan held Anna tighter, until the child whimpered in protest. She had still come to no resolution when Captain Jaworski parted the curtain and came through. His tight mouth and lowering brows proclaimed his ill humor. �Are you two ready to leave? I�m through here, and there�s no point in sticking around. We can�t, anyway�they want us gone as soon as we can get to the
�I�m staying,� Regina said. �Morgan?�
Morgan cast about desperately. �Please� can�t you wait even an hour or two? What about the trade talks? Surely you can�t be finished so soon.�
Jaworski snorted. �A waste of time. They�re not interested in trade. All they ever wanted from SEF was the starship drive, so they could colonize, and now that they have it they�ve closed their doors. To me it was thanks, goodbye, and don�t come back.� He barked a curse. �The next time they�re in trouble, it sure as hell won�t be me to the rescue.�
�SEF will reimburse you,� Regina said.
�Sure. Expenses.� He gestured impatiently at Morgan. �So. Are you coming?�
Regina took pity on her indecision. �You can still have a child of your own,� she said. �I can�t.�
�But it won�t be Anna!�
�There are hundreds of families here, waiting for a child.�
�But will they love her?�
�Yes. They�re strongly attached to their children. The bond is�� She looked at Morgan, then away quickly. �Well, you know what happens.�
Morgan fled with the captain. She tried to make her mind a blank and refused to hear Anna�s cries. She didn�t speak to the Salassan guides, and later she remembered nothing of the return journey to the
She slept, sedated, for most of the three weeks back to Elyria. There, she was grateful for the accumulation of mind-numbing work, though it didn�t always help as much as she could have wished. Her healing was long, and though years later her head told her that she had made the right decision, her heart was never totally convinced�especially when she awakened, as she often did, with tears from a dream of a bird�s wing fluttering against her cheek.